How to nourish yourself in college with Wendy Sterling, RD
Alyssa Herrera-Set: Good morning! Hi Nadia, hi Wendy!
Wendy Sterling, RD: Hello!
Alyssa Herrera-Set: We are so excited to have you here today, Wendy. Wendy and I have worked together in the San Francisco Bay area on efforts to keep gymnasts healthy and so I'm really excited to have her on the podcast today. I'm going to introduce her and then Nadia has a few questions addressing some of the stuff we talked about in an earlier podcast about eating healthy in college and diet culture in college and also Eating Disorders. Let me start by introducing Wendy: Wendy Sterling is a certified eating disorder registered dietitian and a board certified specialist in sports dietetics. She specializes in Sports Nutrition, eating disorders, and utilizes a non-diet health at every size approach in her practice. Wendy maintains a private practice in the Bay Area California and sees clients virtually throughout the country. Wendy is an author on multiple books that focus on eating disorders and Body Image. Her latest book publishes next month and is called How to Nourish Yourself Through an Eating Disorder. in addition to working with local high schools and colleges, she has consulted with professional sports teams including the Oakland A's, the Golden State Warriors, the New York Jets and the New York Islanders .Wendy received her degree in dietetics and nutritional Sciences from Cornell University. She earned a master's degree in nutrition education at teach college at Columbia University, where she also completed her dietetic internship. Wendy is a former competitive dancer and All American cheerleader. Welcome Wendy!
Wendy STerling: Thank you. Thanks to you both for having me this morning!
Nadia Herrera-Set: Of course! My first question: a lot of uh our listeners are college students who are trying to decide what career they want to pursue. I wanted to ask you if you could tell us a little bit about how you decided to become a registered dietician ,and what the difference is between a registered dietitian and a nutritionist?
Wendy Sterling: Yeah, good question. so I picked nutrition um as my major literally out of uh a catalog. My sister was a Psychology major and I was very interested in that too. But as younger sisters will do, I wasn't going to do what she did. She was at Cornell at the time, and I fell in love with the college. And so I was looking through that big red book that came in the mail and I stumbled upon nutrition and I was like “wow you know this is awesome!” I was really attached to the Sciences I was really kind of nerdy that way. I loved chemistry and biology and I I really didn't want to give that up you know for example if I went into psychology. I loved the idea of working with people. I was a dancer, I was doing that ever since I could walk and so the idea of being able to fuel people, educate them, while also keeping the Sciences? Tt just seemed like a perfect fit. As for your second question about the difference between a dietitian and a nutritionist, really anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. There's not really any regulation. When you use the word dietitian, you're referring to a registered dietician which has certification and certain schooling and requirements, plus a uh formalized dietetic internship program that you apply for and get training in various categories like clinical nutrition and some food service and Community rotations. There's like a structure in a program. Finally, you'll take a test to become a registered dietitian. When you see a registered dietician we know that it is certified, whereas when we see nutritionist, we don't know what that means. Like anyone at the gym could be a nutritionist, or you know the person at the grocery store could be like “oh yeah I'm a nutritionist.” And so sometimes people use the word nutritionist because it more casual, but I think when you go through the schooling, you know, we tend to prefer registered dietician.
Nadia: Yeah, it's definitely interesting if people can just offer their advice and because they have the title of “nutritionist,” people will just end up believing them when they might not have the education for that.
Alyssa: I've actually like, as a physical therapist, when I have um athletes come in at the On the Move PT clinic, I encourage them to get some specialty advice regarding nutrition. Oftentimes, they reach out to a nutritionist and I get a little bit concerned because I don't know what their educational background is. So I really wanted you to be able to answer that question for our audience because I don't think the average person realizes that there's a difference between registered dietitian and nutritionist.
Wendy Sterling: And I'm sure there are really educated nutritionists out there who have done a ton of work and can give you some great information. But there are also some that just carry the title “nutritionist” and put it after their name because you know they've done some weekend work or they care about it a lot or whatever, but don't have a lot of scientific background necessarily behind their advice. I think it's really important for young folks out there, for everybody out there, to understand the difference. And I guess while we're on the topic, I might as well add that there are lots of influencers on social media who have hundreds of thousands of followers and often don't have any credentials as well, right. And they will interact very intimately with their followers and provide lots of really beautiful videos, and are very seductive in their messaging. But often the messaging that they're giving is not accurate for, let's say, a teenager. Or not accurate for the person who's listening. And so we always will also say “hey, who are you following?” and like “are they reputable?” and “do they have the appropriate credentials?” just to kind of make sure. Because a lot of times, people are taking the material that they're getting from social media as face value. And often, they don't have access to a registered dietitian and that is the only information they're getting.
Nadia: Yeah that's, I mean, that's very important to hear. Personally on Tik Tok I get those videos all the time: people offering like dieting or food advice. And obviously there's people that are taking their advice but you never know what intentions they have and if it even like can be applicable to the person watching.
Alyssa: On a previous episode we talked about parents who incentivize their kids to not gain the Freshman 15. What are your thoughts on that?
Wendy Sterling: Oh you can't imagine how much I hate that. I'm really sorry for anyone who has had that happen to them. I mean, I really felt, when I like saw that you might be asking that, I — my heart just felt really broken at the thought of that. I think what that says to the kid is “gosh, you know, your weight is so important to me that I am going to pay you to stay at this weight.” And kids don't forget that. That stays with them forever. And not only does it stay with them forever, but the weight at which they were paid to stay at also stays with them forever. So that should they exceed that weight, which by the way most likely they will because the weight at which they are as a freshman in college is not meant to be their forever weight (there's no forever weight bodies are changing, especially as a freshman you know our our bodies and hormones and our you everything is just evolving right), but when they when they exceed that weight they remember “gosh I was this number when I was younger and it causes a lot of shame and it causes a lot of body image dissatisfaction. It’s also sending the message that should my body change, my family won't approve of me. And so it's a really unfortunate paradigm that a family would set up for their kid upon going to school. There seems to be so many more important things to be thinking about with your kid as they are leaving for college… Alcohol, for example, might be another one. Or safety, you know?
Nadia: Yeah, yeah I definitely, I mean my freshman year of college which was just last year it's very hard to be living away from your parents and having to choose your own food to begin with. So I can't imagine like having to think about “oh if I'm eating this I might you know… thinking about my weight and all this because I'm just trying to like not be hungry all day”
Alyssa: Totally. But yeah, on that note it's tough for a parent to figure out when to keep their mouth shut when they think that their offspring, their adult child, is making unhealthy decisions whether that's eating unhealthily or not sleeping well or partying too much, making some questionable friends all those things. Like as a as a parent of a kid who's just like gone to college, you don't know when to speak up and when not to, right? So um what are your thoughts about the communication between a parent and a child regarding healthy eating once they're in college? Like how much should we be saying? I mean actually I'll give you a personal… can I share Nadia? can I share our experience? Okay so, one time I was telling Nadia I was like oh so you know we had this conversation and it was probably right before lunch and I was like “so um you're living in the dorms, what did you have for breakfast this morning?” and she's like “um I had apples.” and I was like “oh, where did you get that from? Did you get that from the the dining Commons or from Trader Joe's?” and she… I don't remember what she said. And then I was like “okay… and where are you off to now?” she's like “I'm off to lunch.” she's like “I'm gonna go get Popeye's fried chicken sandwich.” and I was like hmmm. she's like “I'm going to do a meal exchange at popeye's for a fried chicken sandwich.” I'm like “Is that really the healthiest choice?” and she's like “I don't need to tell you everything I'm eating.” so I was like oop. I went a little bit too far. so I guess yeah, so that's my question… Like how would you navigate that?
Wendy Sterling: Yeah, parents almost always say too much. And you know the the focus ideally you know, it's tricky. I think when kids are probably out of the house because you're not seeing everything. Like in in the case with Nadia, I'm sure she's not going to popeye's all all the time every day is probably my my guess. And you know so I think it's a little trickier for parents commenting. Your adult kid is reporting one thing and then you're reacting, but you don't see what's happening every day. It's hard not to react because sometimes you get tidbits of information and then it feels a little bit provocative, and you want to say something. But what you don't know is the rest of the seven days: the seven breakfasts, whatever else she had for lunch. So sometimes you can just get curious rather than being reactive like “oh like you know Popeyes? Like where else do you go with your friends?” or “Do you go to the dining hall?” or like “what do you are you eating in the dining hall?” You know? You can ask some more questions. That might be one thing, but I think as it pertains to the kids who are in the house more, parents almost always say too much. And what we really want to do is to try to create this peaceful relationship with food and body where where all foods and all bodies really are welcome. But instead there does tend to be a lot of scrutiny where comments about what kids are eating and how much they're eating. And the reality is like no one else could know how much you need or how much another body needs. Appetites vary day-to- day and it even varies meal to meal. So even in that example you know with Nadia, like she didn't have much breakfast and most likely she needed a much bigger lunch because she was probably really hungry. So if someone observed her at lunch and made a comment about what she was eating volume wise, they would have not known that she was really hungry because she didn't have morning snack and she didn't have breakfast. We often see parents coming in in the middle and kind of then saying things like “wow do you need all that?” or like “you have such a big appetite” and this really discourages kids from satisfying their full hunger and can alter the course of the rest of their day because maybe then they don't finish what they actually needed or they restrict or causes a lot of guilt and shame. And then you know this idea of like oh these are good foods and then these bad foods, it can then create guilt or shame because then it feels like I'm eating the wrong thing or I ate a bad thing. But really if like all food was just okay and neutral, then it would really lead to a lot more peace. But we see it trickling into body image because if somebody ate the wrong thing or bad thing that's deemed that way in a parent eyes, then all of a sudden you start to feel really dissatisfied and uncomfortable in your body.
Alyssa: I mean I think that's what we tend to do. It's very complicated. I'll keep my mouth shut more (laughs).
Nadia: I mean I personally don't remember that conversation but it really stuck with her.
Alyssa: It did. I was like oh this is was like a red flag this is going in the wrong direction, I need to change course I need to change the way that I'm communicating with my daughter. I'm glad it didn't stick in your mind.
Nadia: I must have been having a bad day. My next question: like myself, kids who do high school School sports often see a huge decline in the amount of exercise they get in at the start of college and even throughout college. Do you have any nutritional tips for transitioning away from a 10 to 20 hour like exercise routine per week to just working out a few hours a week on your own?
Wendy Sterling: Yeah, the biggest thing is that nutritional needs most likely in that scenario will decrease and the frequency with which somebody is taking their pre and their post-workout fueling snacks and the composition of one's plates are going to shift in terms of how we're recommending the macronutrients on the plate, in terms of the volume of carbohydrates are going to shift to a different kind of plate. When the intensity, the frequency, the duration of one's training changes that way. What we want to kind of begin to coach our athletes on is their hunger and their fullness as well. I think a lot of times when somebody's training and training intensely they really can't necessarily, they don't necessarily feel their hunger. Sometimes the hunger levels are suppressed with really intense training. I think when training decreases to kind of a low to moderate level it's maybe easier to feel hunger and so we begin to say like hey are you hungry? Are you full? Where is your hunger level, where is your fullness level? So we'll begin to coach them on that. Then something else that I see happening when people are transitioning out of their sport is actually that people start picking up other sports and I think sometimes they don't realize that even though it's not their main sport, there's a significant impact potentially in their new set of training. In the types of training that they're doing. So for example, a gymnast might decide that he or she or they like running and all of a sudden, they never ran before it wasn't part of their training, but now there's a significant impact that their running has on their energy needs. And even though it's not 10 to 20 hours it's quite possible that there's a significant energy cost associated with that training. And sometimes our athletes get into a state of energy deficiency even post-retirement. Like in retirement, and that always surprises them. And we see that a lot actually, it's actually called relative energy deficiency in sport. The acronym is called REDS and it can happen in season like in the height of their sport and it can also happen in retirement as people all of a sudden become cyclists out of the blue, or they start training for a marathon, or they start training for something else um they just don't they don't account for things that actually aren't making them sweat the same way they used to sweat. For example walking the dog for three to four miles they're like “ah it's not exercise it's not movement doesn't really count” but actually if you're walking the dog three to four miles and then you're running later that day and then you're also walking to the supermarket, all of these things actually need to be accounted for um with your food.
Nadia: Great advice, thank you. So we talked a little bit and during your intro about how you are specialized in Eating Disorders. My question is what can a college student do if they suspect that their friend has an eating disorder?
Sterling: I think it's good to confront the friend and to talk about it with the friend and see if the friend needs some support. We've had some circumstances actually where friends have reached out to the parents or the support system of that suspected person with an eating disorder. Eating Disorders can be really sneaky. A lot of people are in denial about that so it can often take a lot of repeated advances to kind of get somebody that help that they need. I think that friends always they can always make a change because maybe the person, whether or not they realize it, hearing it from someone they respect and also listen to all the time changes things.
Alyssa: Do you have any advice on words you might use with your friend? Like would you be casual about it, would you be direct?
Sterling: You know yeah I think honest and I think also pointing out like “you seem really tired, you seem irritable, you seem different” you know pointing out some of the things that have caught your attention… “I'm concerned about you, I've noticed that you no longer come out with us, I noticed that you no longer are at lunch with us anymore” you know. “I notice that you're always exercising, have you seen a doctor?” We don't want to be accusing of them, you just sort of want to state your observations kind of neutrally. You don't want to attack and you certainly don't necessarily want to um comment on weight and body necessarily. But I think loving kind gentle uh is is certainly the approach that I would recommend. And not necessarily using the words disordered eating or like that. I wouldn't diagnose anyone, I would just state your observations of the things that have caught your eye you know? The things that you're worried about.
Alyssa: Okay great advice. So I think you have one more question right, Nadia?
Nadia: Yeah one more question it's do you have any tips on getting the right nutrients and healthy food when you're eating on a budget whether it's from the cafeteria or buying food on your own?
Sterling: Yeah, so our approach that we use in eating disorder recovery but I also use it with my athletes is called the plate by plate approach and that is where we are recommending that you're filling the plate with all five food groups. That's protein, starch, a dairy or a dairy alternative, vegetables or fruit, and fats. And that way you're really getting all of your nutrients in. So if you think about going into the dining hall and looking for source of protein whether that's chicken or meat or if you're a vegetarian beans or tofu, and then thinking in terms of what starch: what am I going to fill my plate with whether that's rice or pasta or some kind of grain, breads, cereals, waffles you know whatever that is. And then looking for some kind of calcium source: cheese, dairy, milk, soy milk. And then some kind of vegetable or fruit and then think about what kind of fat source. And then in terms of budget if you are not in a dining hall and you're on your own you know milk is a very inexpensive source of calcium. Cheap proteins are eggs and beans and you know chicken doesn't have to be that expensive. Refried beans which by the way is a misnomer, there's not actually much fat, anyway. But things like that are are pretty cheap. Tuna is a pretty inexpensive source of protein, rice is inexpensive, and then frozen fruits and vegetables which don't get much attention are actually a wonderful nutrient rich way um for people on a budget to get in lots of good anti-inflammatory um sources of fiber. And the best thing about that is that there really is no waste. I think a lot of times people bring in fresh fruits and vegetables and then there's so much waste because they don't get to it or some gets moldy. But what's really nice about the frozen is that it it's it just really costeffective and there's there's no waste. You can add that to a smoothie, you can thaw it and use it you know right into a bowl um like in the morning. I think that also can help.
Nadia: Yeah I can go to the dining hall but I have a kitchen this year so that's been something that I've been having to figure out on my own. It's definitely hard to buy like the fresh fruits and vegetables because it's not like I'm going to eat every all of it like every single day, and then I'm having to throw it out because before I can even get to it, it's like it's moldy. So the frozen section of Trader Joe's is my friend I think.
Sterling: I think for the dorm too: like things like apples and pears and bananas they tend to last longer and you know it's like the berries that tend to go bad first that make it harder. Those might be good to buy frozen and I know it's hard in a dorm to Store Frozen um but if there is freezer access that that would be that would be good. And then just thinking of meals that you can do like little burritos or quesadillas or things that are just not super expensive that you can get multiple uses out of.
Alyssa: Yeah, definitely thank you. We had a funny we had a funny conversation a couple weeks ago. Nadia showed up on FaceTime and she had this block of frozen chicken like four chicken breasts you know with a plastic on top of it and styrofoam on the bottom or whatever's on the bottom and she's like “I'm eating this tonight.” It's like rock solid. “What do I do about… what do?” I'm like oh my goodness well “Is it sliceable? can you chop into it?” she's like you know hacking at it I was like okay that does not look safe, you're just going have to defrost the whole thing and cook the whole thing and maybe you can freeze some of the stuff that you already made. Maybe you should individually put chicken in the freezer
Sterling: Absolutely, I found my frozen chicken alternative. They're individually Frozen so I don't have to you know do the whole thing and then have to eat all the chicken you made. coms individually Frozen yeah it's like in a bag I mean it's like a weird a weird thing, but if I can just take one out and that's my lunch then you know that's really easy. Yeah, and I think you'll find some tricks along those lines like you can take it out of the freezer and put it in the refrigerator the night before and then it thaws for you which is really nice.
Nadia: Yeah it's definitely a learning process.
Alyssa: It is a learning process and you won't make that mistake again with that (laughs) Everybody goes through that. Wendy I have a question and I don't know if this is going to open up a whole can of worms, I hope it's not too challenging of a question to answer on this podcast. You seem to have a filter towards helping people who are under fueling with relative energy deficiency and people who need to eat a lot for their sport. What about people whose problem is overeating? Is that also called disordered eating and how can you help with that?
Sterling: Yeah we have lots of patients in our practice um who struggle with either bypassing their body's natural stopping place or who truly struggle with something called binge eating disorder. In my next book we are talking about how our plate by plate approach can be used to actually help patients through that. One of the biggest causes of something like overeating or binge eating disorder is actually restriction, so what we find is that people are more likely to buypass their body stopping place if for example they are using a diet mindset. Or they are may be living in a larger body and they are trying to cut back on their food because they are trying to diet, or they're trying to lose weight. And so what tends to happen is they go through their day and they're like oh I'm just going to eat a little bit at breakfast I'm going to eat a little bit at lunch and then they get to dinner and they can't find their natural stopping place and they tend to bypass it. Or alternatively as some of our patients do, and by the way binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder out there so more people people are struggling with that than any other eating disorder, they binge which is eating a larger amount of food that most would consider to be typical in a certain period of time. The reason that happens is because they haven't had enough to eat throughout the day. They are in deficit from not having had enough um throughout the the day: perhaps missing an afternoon snack that they needed. It's common in athletes, it's common in males, and it's certainly common really common when people restrict. Now there are many causes besides just the physiological cause why people um binge. It can also be emotional, it can be to due to boredom, it can be due to stress. And so we know that there are a combination of factors that lead to why people might binge and so often when we have people that are struggling with for example a binge eating disorder or something like that, we are doing a combination work with a dietitian to look at their food to make sure that they are eating regular and consistent meals with all five food groups: breakfast lunch snack dinner snack. Not skipping meals no dieting, like really eating regularly. They're working often in combination with a therapist to manage stress, to look at alternative coping mechanisms for times when they're feeling bored, and learning to not use food to cope. And so it becomes pretty complicated and we tend to work as a team which is really interesting.
Alyssa: Thank you so much Wendy. We know you have a book coming out next month, can you tell us just before we go a little bit about what services you provide to people and where people can find you ?
Wendy Sterling: Yeah yeah thank you for asking. So I am a sports dietician and an eating disorder specialist. I help athletes with their performance, but I also help adults and teens and kids with both Sports Nutrition or with anyone struggling with eating. Whether that's disordered eating or actual Eating Disorders. My book which is coming out next month is actually for adults and it's to help them through their relationship with food and their eating disorder. I can be found on Instagram, we have a handle called plate-by-plate approach which is for those with eating disorders looking for visuals on what the plate should be with eating disorder messaging. My handle is @wendy_sterling and then my website is sterlingnutrition.com
Alyssa: Perfect thank you so much for being here with us today, Wendy. That was really like helpful like usable information for the college students and for the parents.
Wendy Sterling: I'm so glad thank you so much for having me it's so lovely to connect with you both again.
Finding your place and community in college w/ Dr. Jeannie Celestial
Dr. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Good morning! Hello Nadia, hello Dr Jeannia Celestial. Listeners I am really excited to bring to you our guest Dr. Jeannie Celestial. Dr Jeanie is a distinguished Filipina-American psychologist and consultant. She supports high achieving women of color nurture healthier relationships with themselves, their families, communities, and the Earth. Her work focuses on liberation psychology and healing trauma holistically: Body Mind and Spirit. Dr Celestial is one of the bestselling authors of the Filipino instant pot cookbook and co-editor co-author of Clinical Interventions for Internalized Oppression. Welcome, Dr Jeannie. Thank you for coming.
Welcome to papaya talk the podcast where we dive into the world of women's health from one generation to the next join us as a motherdaughter Duo as we seek to empower power young women through the sometimes awkward often avoided conversation about our bodies I'm Dr Alisa Herrera set physical therapist in the San Francisco Bay area and I'm n herera Public Health student at Northeastern University in Boston together we're going to share stories insights and expert advice about health self-care and everything in between
Dr. Jeannie Celestial: Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me. Good morning
Alyssa Herrera-Set: So we have a few questions prepared for you and we're going to mostly focus on Nadia's questions for you because I think they're the most important. We previously had a talk about a month ago about finding community and this is when Nadia was just starting her first or her first semester of our second year of college we were talking about finding clubs and creating community for yourself in in college and so she has a few questions for you.
Nadia Herrera-Set Yeah thank you so much for coming today. My first question we have some audience members that are trying to decide what kind of career they want to pursue so can you tell us a little bit about how you decided to become a psychologist?
Dr. Jeannie Celestial: Yeah thank you so much. I'm really excited to be on this podcast and also because I think it's such an important topic and I had difficulties of forging community in college so this is very dear to my heart. How did I be decide to become a psychologist? Well, growing up in a vibrant extended family in the Pacific Islands, I became fascinated with people and relationships. Since adolescence, especially among my second generation friends, they would gravitate toward me to share their problems and help them navigate life struggles. I don't know, I just had a penchant for thinking about and talking to folks about life and relationships. But it wasn't until my senior year at Berkeley that I received my calling to become a Healer of hearts and Minds. I did want to be an agent of social change and I felt like working one-on-one with people and in small groups was the way I was going to do that.
Alyssa Herrera-Set: I really like — I love how you describe it as being a Healer of heart and mind. As a physical therapist, I love that the idea of addressing the mind with the body and maybe with exercise or manual therapy. Thank you for explaining your thought process.
Nadia Herrera-Set: My next question, like you I'm Filipina-American and sometimes I feel unsure about whether or not I fit in with the Filipino Club on campus because my parents aren't immigrants. I don't really speak the language and I also didn't grow up in a high school that had a strong Filipino American Community. My question is: what's some advice that you can give on how to feel more comfortable in situations where you're surrounded by people that you should feel close to but don't?
Dr. Celestial: Yeah really good question. First of all, I would like you and others like you to know and believe that you are Filipino enough. Whatever generation you are ,you hold within you the strength of over 4,000 ancestors from just the last 400 years. You are these ancestors child and you are hardwired for Community. You deserve and can build a community of love and support. I mean just for my own story, I was the only Filipino kid from Vallejo California Hogan high school, yay shout out to my Hogan High School Spartans, who went to Berkeley that year in the 90s. (And I will not say which year * laughs *) But anyway, I felt like a fish out of water, you know? Over 30,000 students, and I felt quite lonely actually. Just through a lot of patience with myself, a lot of crying, a lot of tears and even one moment where I told my high school boyfriend to come pick me up and drive me home back to valjeo and my parents were like: what's wrong with you? and I'm like “I'm dropping out I hate it.” I just rested for a week and then I went back to the dorms.We had answering machines at the time, my answering machine had a few messages of people who were trying to reach out to me while I was gone and then I was like “okay, people do like me and care about me and I I can stick with this” so you know, just breathe and push through the feelings of shyness or awkwardness. Trust yourself in the process and really try to build community one person at a time, one friend at a time. I'm thinking a lot about my computer assigned dorm mate who's usmaan. We did not know each other before Berkeley but are still friends after I don't know almost 30 years.
Alyssa Herrera-Set: Wow, I didn't realize that you were feeling so much like you didn't like want to be at Berkeley
Nadia Herrera-Set: I think a lot of people um would be able to resonate with that with not feeling like you can fit in. In the very beginning of you know coming to college and it's hard to like build that Community. But if you start one by one person at a time, you'll see that there are people that that do care about you and um you can make a community for yourself .
Dr. Jeannie Celestial: Yeah, I must say that it became an invitation from my life to seek therapy for the first time. My college of letters and Sciences academic counselor, Renato Almanor, happened to be Filipino American. I remember in his office he had his framed letter of being on academic probation at UC Davis when he was in college and he said “look, I was on academic probation once and I'm here now today as your counselor.” And so that really helped me realize that we all make mistakes, we all struggle. But we can rise above those struggles.
Alyssa: Yeah, definitely. Actually on that note, so most colleges have Facebook groups for the parents. I'm on a Facebook group for parents of Northeastern students and sometimes the parents ask the other parents what they should do because their child isn't making friends. I'm wondering if you feel like what is your opinion on parents intervening when their adult child isn't making friends in college? When should they step in? And then also like what if they don't see that their adult child is even motivated to make friends? So on both ends: they want to make friends but they're not. Should they intervene or should the parents step in?
Dr. Celestial: Yeah, I would invite a parent to you know really just pause for a moment. We are launching our children out into the world and empowering them to be their own adult. So especially for a parent who has a young adult, to kind of temper their concerns. Especially Asian-American parents who tend to be very achievement oriented or other high achieving parents to just breathe and first reflect. Ask yourself: over the last 18 plus years, what skills have I helped my Offspring (and I'm using Offspring not child to just shift the notion that it's not a minor child but it's an adult child right) and so what skills have I helped this person develop towards relationships? Likely, if you're child is already in college, you already instilled in them a lot of social skills. So what is my Offspring’s strength in building relationships, and would it help to remind them of this strength? You know, start a conversation with your adult child: Remind them of a story where they started a friendship and it stuck and this friendship ended up really scaffolding their upbringing and really bringing a lot of joy and connection in their life. Remind them of those strengths and then then you might shift to asking them: How might I support you? In what ways would you like or need my support? This is then inviting them to define for for you how they want to be supported instead of the parent defining how they want to support the child. I see a lot of head nods from Nadia any thoughts?
Nadia: Well I just think that's really good advice. I feel like when you go to college, you want to feel really independent and so if I mean, fortunately I haven't been in this situation of where like my mom had to intervene and you know ask if I needed help with like making friends and stuff, but I think that making it like a two-way conversation of “how can I support you” instead of “oh you should do this and you should do that,” that I think that would really be helpful.
Dr. Celestial: Yeah, I did want to address Dr alysaa's question about when the child or the The Offspring seems to have no motivation to make friends. Again another excellent question. I would say breathe and take a step back. Pray and discern and ask oneself “okay what is triggering for me about this?” The parent asking themselves “what are my fears?” I do believe coming um being a college graduate and also from a really amazing University, I believe that college is not even so much about learning as about building our community and really the friends that I made at Berkeley have lasted me these last few decades. They are there for me through thick and through thin and through deaths and births and everything in between. I met my husband through my college housemate, I met her through the Filipino clubs, I met her through a faith also through faith-based practice. So these friendships last a lifetime. I believe that relationship building in college is one of the most important aspects of college. Therefore, you know if you do find that your adult child seems to be in a shutdown state, meaning maybe they are kind of in their room all the time with the windows shut and under the covers, I would start to be a little concerned. And so you might want to think about what's going on and you might ask yourself how can I empower them to create spaces where they feel safe. This is what we call a shutdown State and polyvagal Theory. Maybe there was a distress or trauma or some kind of depression going on, or anxiety. You want to help support them to come gently back to their body, and maybe create an activation plan even if it's taking a walk one time a week with their dog or friend and joining organizations or activities where they that are highly structured so they can build connection. That's really important. I do hear that I think I might hear that equally my my kid doesn't want to make friends and I hear that equally as often as my kid is having a hard time making friends. I'm glad that you pointed out how important it is to try to help get them the tools that they need to uh encourage them to create Community.
Nadia: during my first semester I was studying abroad in Greece and I was very fortunate enough to find a group of friends that really supported me through that time. It was definitely a difficult transition going from home to way across the world, but now that I'm on campus I'm looking more into the Campus based groups like the clubs. My question isL does being a part of a group of friends just for friendship have a different significance on someone's mental health than being a part of a club that has a group goal that is not that is other than just friendship?
Dr. Celestial: Great question. I think they are very much related meaning you can make friends in an organization and or you can bring friends to an organization. As you were asking the question I thought about studies that show that mood is improved when doing altruistic acts and also being a part of a community of positive people. And so I kind of feel that being a part of an organization especially in a large college campus might provide some better structure for those types of activities: both finding something that is altruistic or makes the world a better place and also surrounds yourself with positive people who uplift you. I think friends typically come organically but then we find like minded individuals in club clubs and organizations that we might not ordinarily just meet in a grocery store or in a class or on the street. So when I think about my friends that I met in that in college and who I'm still friends with are the ones who I met in organizations or I brought along with me to organizations and we're still very passionate about those things whether it's social justice or Filipino culture or holistic health or medicine things like that. And then you know, no matter where you are you're always going to find people with personalities that you vibe with and personalities that you don't. And I think it's important to learn about what are your musthaves in terms of friends and difficult to tolerate: the list of the things that are difficult to tolerate. And creating healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries both with people you want to hang out with and boundaries with those that maybe are not healthy for me or toxic or hurtful to me. And then you want to create healthy boundaries to protect yourself from those type of people.
Nadia: Yeah, I think that's very good advice. Boundaries is definitely something that I've had to work on and also have seen be really helpful in the people I surround myself with so thank you. And especially as Filipinos or asian-americans, you know, our boundaries uh in our cultures tend to be more fluid and so it's as like Multicultural people we can kind of define for ourselves what are healthy boundaries.
Dr. Celestial: Yeah thank you, You're welcome. I can't wait to hear um the types of friends and communities you build and I'm so confident that it's going to take you so far in life so… I can't wait to show my daughter all of your accomplishments thank you.
Alyssa: Nadia do you want to ask her your question about graduating?
Nadia: My question is: what's some advice you can give to students just graduating college or who are about to graduate um that don't really feel like they have a place in the world or society yet?
Dr. Celestial: well I would like to say congratulations. What an exciting time to be you! You have so many gifts to offer yourself, others, and the world. It's just just an exciting time to figure out your purpose or to listen in for your purpose and to define that for yourself. If you're struggling to really hear from your life what is your purpose? It might be a good time to hire a therapist or a coach or talk to a mentor or a spiritual guide and really take stock of your values. What is really important to you? Use those as a map towards short medium and long-term goals and just really celebrate who you are and how you want to be your authentic self. I do believe that everyone has unique talents and gifts and that they were created with a purpose. And so while there might be some, whether it's marginalization or trauma or whatever it is, that is kind of impeding or creating barriers from identifying what is your unique purpose, I believe we all have tools. My passion is helping folks lean into and discover their gifts, their unique gifts, to bring into the world.
Nadia: I really like that idea having like, you know, taking into account that everyone has their own gifts. And also maybe reaching out to a mentor or someone that you that can help coach you through the situation is definitely something I will take into account when I get to that point in my college education but thank you so much.
Alyssa: All right so Jeannia, thank you so much for being here. I wanted to let the listeners know where they could get a hold of you if they want some more information about your services that you provide. Thank you so much for being here with us today, this morning it was a pleasure.
Dr. Celestial: I'm so sorry we had a short time today but I'd love to come back. there's so many topics that we can vibe on and discuss and share with your audiences. So many blessings on this papaya podcast.
Nadia: thank you so much.
FIND DR. JEANNIE CELESTIAL:
https://www.drcelestial.com/
https://www.instagram.com/jeanniecelestial/
https://www.drcelestial.com/clinical-interventions-for-internalized-oppression
https://www.drcelestial.com/the-filipino-instant-pot-cookbook
party culture — an inside look at drugs, alcohol, and partying in university
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Hey, Nadia. Hi, it was really nice to see you this weekend.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Hello. Hi.
It was nice to see you guys too.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I think you've become more affectionate since you moved to college.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, probably art. Um, what is the saying? Yeah. And I feel like I-
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. So you're more affectionate and you actually love us more.
Nadia Herrera-Set
No, I'm just more affectionate. I feel like I like miss I have like time to like really miss you guys
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, yeah, and we have less time to annoy each other. Okay, so I wanted to talk a little bit about upcoming events. We have Halloween coming up, as we're recording this, it's October 16th. We have Halloween coming up, and that I think means that there's gonna be like some Halloween parties. So I kinda wanna talk a little bit about Halloween and a little bit about partying culture in college. What do you wanna start with first?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Okay.
Whatever one you want. They go hand in hand in college actually. I said I think they go hand in hand. It's holo weekend. Or some colleges literally celebrate Halloween the entire month.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Okay, what are you gonna be for Halloween? What'd you say?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Really? Okay, I guess we'll talk about party culture first. I was gonna ask you what you're gonna be for Halloween. Actually, let's just get out of the way. What are you gonna be for Halloween?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Oh, wait.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, I'm going to be Jesse slash Woody from Toy Story with, it's like a group costume. Um.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So how are you gonna be Jesse and Woody?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Well, like, if it would be the same costume, kind of, you know, like, so I'm just gonna be whichever one I feel like. You know? No. Jessie's the girl and Woody's the... And they're both cowboys. So it's like the same thing. They kind of, like, their costumes would be the same.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Oh wait, are Jesse and Woody the same thing?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Ah, I see. I see, I see. I guess it's also like a slight political statement too. It's like a gender fluid cowboy cartoon.
Nadia Herrera-Set
if you want to think about it like that then yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Which actually leads me to my next question is there is like, I think, especially for your age, this pressure to be dress up sexy or use Halloween as an opportunity to dress a little dress a little sexier.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I feel like, well, okay, my other costumes are like men in black and also, well, it's like, or just trying to use what I have. Um, but I don't know if it's like a, maybe some people feel pressured. I don't feel pressured. I feel like for me, it's like, well, I did say to use things I already have, but it's like an excuse to buy things that I'd wear later. But my excuse is that it's for my costume.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I see. I see. But then, like, do you notice that, like, you could be men in black and wearing pants and a long sleeve shirt and sunglasses, or you could be men in black wearing a miniskirt, high heels, black tights and a tube top. Which version are you going to be?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Well, um, I have a miniskirt, and I bought a blazer. And I bought, well, I mean, I'll see the day of. It really depends, but I bought a blazer.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I guess maybe I should be grateful that it's... Okay, so I should be grateful that it's not like just the blazer and no bottoms.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, basically. I'm just kidding. I mean, I guess people like to dress a lot more.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I'm sorry.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
provocatively maybe, or an excuse to be.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, on Halloween, but like, you could do that in college anytime you want. So, I mean, I guess you couldn't really wear like bathing suit bottoms out, but like for Halloween you could say, I'm, I don't know, fill in the blank, but...
Alyssa Herrera-Set
That's true. That is true.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
A lifeguard. Yeah. Okay. I think we could go on and on about Halloween, the sexualization of cartoon characters, the... Just all the things. But I don't necessarily think we'll come up with any answers, except for maybe me being a little bit stressed thinking about you on Halloween, walking around in cold Boston with a blazer and no bottoms.
Nadia Herrera-Set
But I don't know.
..
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I would do that regardless of Halloween.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Great. Okay. I guess I should just accept it. You get to wear whatever you want to wear, your body, your choice. You choose.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, exactly. I choose. And I choose to wear a blazer and a miniskirt when it's really cold outside.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Okay. So then with Halloween, it doesn't have to come with partying, but I guess let's talk a little bit about partying. So you happen to be somebody that likes to go out, right? You like to go out. Maybe there are other people in college that don't want to. So are you around, are all of your friends people that like to go to parties or do you have friends that some do and some don't? Do you have to segregate based on, I like to party, I don't?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I feel like I definitely have friends that do and don't. I think I like to go out but I also can stay in but like I want to have fun so I'll just I'm usually the person that like if someone wants to go out but has no one else with them like I'll go out with them.
But I do have friends that don't like to go out as much. And I feel like because like Northeastern is not necessarily, you don't have to go out to parties if you don't want to. I know a lot of other colleges, like it's like the partying culture is a lot more intense. And so you're going out, like you could essentially go out every night of the week. Whereas at Northeastern, I feel like it's like a strict,
thing of most people will go out Friday and Saturday, some people will go out to bars on Thursday, but nobody's really going out on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, and sometimes not, usually not Sunday also, which is like not the same like other colleges. So I feel like, I mean from friends, social media, like you can tell like, I know some of my friends like to go out or like
Alyssa Herrera-Set
How do you know what's going on at other colleges?
Nadia Herrera-Set
They like to go out more, but they also have the opportunity to go out more. Like, Northeastern, it's kind of... I mean, for me too, like, I don't necessarily only go to Northeastern parties, I can go to other colleges. So it's the school, plus like, we're in Boston. I don't know. I feel like Northeastern is just not a typical party school, so it's easy to do whatever you want.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So, okay.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, you don't feel the pressure. Like maybe some people at some schools feel like their only social life is if they go out to parties.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right. Yeah, exactly.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Okay, so I guess let's get to the juicy stuff. How much drinking is involved? And let's just put it out there that let's not name any names about who's drinking and not. How much drinking is involved? And how much underage drinking is involved?
Nadia Herrera-Set
I feel like, obviously there's a lot of underage drinking. You're not like legally allowed to drink until like I, like third, like usually third year or fourth year. No, your third or fourth year of college, but like, although this is not a party school, there's still a lot of people partying. So like your first and second year, you're gonna go out. It's not like you're gonna wait until.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
21, you mean? Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
But do you feel like you have to drink when you go out? Like you can go to a party. I mean, not necessarily do you feel like you have to drink, but like, do people feel like when they go to a party that they need to drink?
Nadia Herrera-Set
You could go, you don't have to.
Nadia Herrera-Set
It's not, you're not being forced to. Some frats that I go to, like, will make it a little bit harder. Like, not all frats will give out drinks, but most of the Northeastern ones do. But like other schools.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Oh.
Okay, so you walk in and there's like cocktail, there's like a bar or there's like a keg or there's like closed bottles or are they just like open containers that you just hope that they're fine?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Umm...
It depends. It depends. Sometimes, most of the times, they're like closed cans. And they're not usually like in the front. Sometimes that's kind of hard. You kind of have to like walk towards it. But I guess it just like depends on the place you're at. Some do like mixed drinks. But if they do, it's not like they're giving you like a whole like cup of it. Like you're getting like this much.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
shots you mean.
Nadia Herrera-Set
So it's not like a shot, but like it's a mixed drink. So it's like really small. They might not even give you a full shot because like they're paying for it. They don't wanna give you like more than they have to. I have had places like, like rats, like they'll give people, I've seen like, like little cups, but they have like a top on it. Like
Like a coffee cup, that's like a plastic cup. It's kinda cute, but obviously that's not everything. And I think that most of the MIT frats, it's, you don't, like, I feel like it's harder to get. It really just depends on the frat.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. OK, so what about bars and stuff like that? I guess what it comes down to is, are there a lot of people with fake IDs?
Nadia Herrera-Set
I definitely think that there are, I mean in college like it's Like if you want to go out to parties like it's and you or you want to drink or whatever like you kind of need it
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Do they card you at frat parties?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Frap parties here. No, I've heard like at other schools that they do But I guess I don't know like I have never been courted at a frat party Because with these wounds in Boston, it's definitely really hard to help till bars and stuff in clubs
like some schools and college towns like, you know, you have like, I'll hear stories of like, oh, like, there's this one place that all students go to, blah, blah. But like, because like, we're in the city, it's really hard to and sometimes it's just not that worth it. But that being said, a lot of people do go out and have fun at those types of things. But you do have to find your own way.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
On a scale of one to 10, how hard do you think it would be to get a fake ID? 10 being it's so hard, like practically impossible. And one is like it's practically like going on Amazon and just getting whatever I want.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Uh...
Nadia Herrera-Set
Uh, I would say like a four.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Okay. All right. And like, would you say that most people under 21 have a fake ID or it's like, not that common?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um... What do you mean? Like, I mean, obviously people under 21, if they have an ID that says they're 21, it's fake, but... Heh heh.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I know, but like, um, like, do a lot of, like, is it just, do you feel like it's kind of standard for people to, like, go to college and get a fake ID?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Uh, yeah, I would say so. I mean, I mean, it could be different at other schools. Um, yeah, I would say it's pretty standard. That's why I say it's easier because you'll hear people talking about it and, you know, like, it just makes it easily accessible.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
What about drugs? Is weed legal? Use of marijuana legal in Massachusetts? So how common is it that you'll see marijuana use and other kind of drug use?
Nadia Herrera-Set
I think so. Like, I think it was like, you know.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Umm... personally, like, I feel like it's pretty normal. I'm not really surrounded by a lot of people that do, like, other drugs. Like, I feel like it's as, like, I mean, I don't really know. It's like, I feel like it would be as accessible as it would be in any other city. Like if you want it, you could probably find it, but, um...
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I'm not surrounded by people. Like that stuff, drug use, like that isn't definitely, I mean, apart from like, marijuana, but I feel like other drug use, like, I don't know. You have to be like with a certain group of people. I don't like, it's definitely not a big thing.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
It's not like so common like, oh, there's everybody at that table snorting coke or whatever, you know, it's not like that common.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Right. I mean, it's, I guess, it could be like the people I'm, I've surrounded myself with, but yeah, that's how I feel.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
How worried are the people that you're around about the possibility of overdose and accidental overdose like fentanyl overdose?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, I would probably say it's a little bit, I have a bias thinking on that because I'm a public health major, like we talk about that all the time as like a topic in class. So in that way, it's definitely like a concerning topic, but, um, fortunately, I haven't like
like there hasn't been or I haven't heard of any incidents of that happening. Um, but we do live in a city. So while I don't hear about it with students, um, there's a lot of homeless people around the campus and like a certain street that's like considered like to be really dangerous with all that type of stuff. So, um, but that's the same with any city.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Right. So you had a terrible nickname for that street. But you like if you walk down that street, you feel like if you if someone wanted to get drugs, they know that they can go on that street and pick it up.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I don't know, like, obviously I've never tried, but, like, and I haven't... I don't know if it's like people get drugs there or there's just a lot of drug users end up on that street and I think the name of the street is coined because a lot of ambulances have to go there and there's just a lot of overdoses there. So I don't know if it... I don't know.
It's a big street, so like, you know, and we live in the middle of Boston.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah. All right. So what about like, is a school talking at all about, about like what to have what to do if you're at a party and someone passes out and you don't really know why?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, sorry, I couldn't hear the first part. What did you say?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Oh, are you, is your school at all like telling students about what to do if somebody passes out, you don't know why, like it could be, are they educating you on what happens if you have blood alcohol poisoning or if someone like potentially needs Narcan or something to counteract like fentanyl basically?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um...
There are not directly tall students. I think some classes offer, there's like one specific class I've heard that someone was able to get Narcan trained as a part of the class. I don't know if it was required. There's, I can't remember the name. But like, if you see, if one of your friends passes out or something's happening like that, you have like...
What's immunity? You have immunity if you call.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. But you would call 911 first, right?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, I think so. I mean, I would, but I... Yeah, I would. Um... But yeah, you have immunity with the school.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I guess there's a sketchy situation. There's a girl that you don't know passed out at a party, maybe not passed, sleeping on the couch at a party. She's not supposed to be there. You hear around like, oh yeah, she was super drunk. She's just sleeping it off. You don't know her. What do you do? 911 seems intense, right? So then what?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
It would be like... I would do 911. It also depends on the situation. Like if I was with friends in my own dorm, I would call 911 and then also have someone get like someone at the front desk. But like, if you're at a frat party, I feel like frats here are like very concerned with like obviously like with their reputation and how...
You know, they don't want any liabilities. So if something like that is happening, they will call 911 for you. Like if someone gets hurt, if someone whatever, like they'll call 911 because they don't want that on them, you know, if they just ignore it. That could lead like to a whole lot of other problems. But, and like, same with like, like I said earlier, they're not forcing you to drink.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I feel like they're usually offering water if you ask them for water they'll get it for you. It's hard to... No. It's hard to like... Obviously control all these people and also control yourself if you're like... Under the influence. Um... But I haven't actually been around like to like anyone.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Do they offer food?
Nadia Herrera-Set
that's been, that's had alcohol poisoning like recently. I think it was, that was, well, when we were studying abroad in Greece. Yeah, I mean like, that's, unfortunately, that's kind of normal, but I, it's not normal, it's common.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
recently? You have been around somebody before?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Someone had to go to the hospital.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Common.
Nadia Herrera-Set
But... yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So when you were your first semester, you guys were allowed to drink. It was legal to drink because you in Greece, you were you have to be 18 to drink. Easily accessible. And there were people that had to be hospitalized because of blood alcohol poisoning. How did they get to the hospital?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
You have to call.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
911.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Well, whatever the 9-1-1 equivalent increase, I couldn't tell you. I don't- I never had to use it, but yeah, that's like what you would do first.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
What's, what is it?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Hehehehe
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So that's the only time that you've encountered somebody that like needed to get hospitalized because of too much alcohol. You haven't, you personally have not interacted with anybody when you're out there partying.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Same as here.
Nadia Herrera-Set
You cut out again, would you say?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
You have not had to interact with anybody who has needed to be hospitalized after partying too hard while you're in Boston.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Have I been a have I seen happen not to any of my friends now, but like sometimes you'll see someone outside and like they're like the brothers of the frat who like Help them if like they're on their property like they kind of have to
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So you've seen other people that you were not responsible for.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, exactly.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Have you seen ambulances pull up?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, but it was not because they were like too drunk, it's because they got hurt. I guess because they were too drunk, but they are. Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Oh, my goodness. I feel like I'm getting all the inside scoop on your life and I don't want it to end. But I mean, the inside scoop, the excess partying, that would be, you know, that can end. But the inside scoop on your life, it sounds like, you know, it's, to me, relatively on par with what I've heard and remember from being in college.
Nadia Herrera-Set
It's definitely...
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
And I'm glad to know that there isn't like a ton of drug use that you're seeing, because that's pretty scary for us parents considering the overdoses that we've heard about, especially accidental fentanyl overdose. And I don't know about other people. Maybe it was the people that I surrounded myself around in college, but I did see a lot of drug use beyond marijuana around me. And I'm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So I think that's another thing that scares people of my generation because at least the people that I was around, like I could see a lot of drug use happening and then I imagine that might be happening around you and then if that's the case and there's like a lot of exposure to potential accidental use of fentanyl, that's scary for us to think about. So I'm glad that your public health class is talking about it and I'm glad that you're not seeing it that commonly like around.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I mean that scares me too so probably why like I haven't like put myself in a situation where that was happening um but yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
But you've heard people say like, hey, we're going to go blah, blah. Like, no, not even like people you don't hang out with. Oh, well, that's good. Yeah, yeah. All right. OK, well, until next week. Thanks, Nadia. Bye.
Nadia Herrera-Set
No. Uh... Yeah. Choosing the right friends, I think.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Bye.
plan b, rush etiquette, + what is “frat flu?”
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Hey Nadia.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Hello.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
How are you?
Nadia Herrera-Set
I'm good, how are you?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I'm good, but you sound a little bit sick.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Just the common college sickness, I think. It's going around.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
What's the common college sickness?
Nadia Herrera-Set
a mixture of like every sickness you've ever had, but then it goes away in like two days, so.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I'm sorry.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Do you know where you got it?
Nadia Herrera-Set
No, but we did go to Virginia last weekend, so could be that too. Yeah, stress, everything combined.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
traveling.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
All right, so what do you guys do when you're sick?
Nadia Herrera-Set
um way in bed and wish we were home
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Does it feel better? Does it feel like you wish you were home with your parents to help you? Or like, why do you wish you were home?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, I don't know, it just feels, it's easier when you're home. It feels like you guys know what to do and so it's harder to reach like health services when you're in college. I mean, not hard, just like it takes a little bit more effort. And like if you had to go to a doctor's office,
Alyssa Herrera-Set
How so?
Nadia Herrera-Set
it's not as easily accessible if you have like a car to just drive or someone to drive you. And also I've never gone to the doctor's office here so that would also be something that's a little bit more like time consuming and then contact whether or not you want to contact the school or if you just want to go.
straight to the doctor's office. I don't even know how it works. Like I wouldn't even, I'd have to call you actually if I really needed it.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
You know, you still have access to your regular health care. Like, you can contact your physician online for advice. Mm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. Yeah, over the phone too. Yeah. I was thinking about that, but not necessarily even when I am home like the advice nurse hotline or whatever is really annoying.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
To be honest, actually, technically, because you're out of the state and your practitioner is licensed to practice in the state of California and you're in the state of Massachusetts, I think technically they can't give you health care advice. They can't basically see you. But.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
That's so interesting. Wow.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I guess they may or may not know that you are in Massachusetts.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I don't necessarily have to tell them.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Real quick pause. There's a lot of noise in the background. I'm really sorry. Can you hear that?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Barely, I think it's okay.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Okay, we're getting solar panels. So I told them to be quiet because we're recording this. I think they think that they're being quiet, but they are not. Okay, so...
Nadia Herrera-Set
Ah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Is there ever an issue where you feel like you shouldn't reach out to your health care provider because you're afraid that your parents are going to know?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Well, like we talked about last time, I've never been in this situation, but like if someone wanted birth control or they needed like other health services like that, like getting STD tested or if you needed like consulting on if you were pregnant or thought you were pregnant, that sort of thing, I feel like it's hard to decide like where you wanna go because...
you might not be comfortable telling your parents about it, but, and I've never been in that situation, so.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So I think that I did a little bit of research since we last talked. And I think that the concern is that, like, obviously, you're an adult, your physician can be told that your medical consultation with them should be confidential, that you don't want to tell your parents. I mean, they actually can't tell your parents at this point because you're an adult. However, the issue comes with when a bill gets sent home, like an explanation of benefits.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
piece of paper that says to your parents like, hey, Nadia saw a doctor gynecologist on October 1st. And then, hey, Nadia saw a doctor gynecologist on October 5th and October 10th and October 15th. Wait a second, what is happening? This person's a gynecologist. Nadia has been seeing them four or five times in a month. Hey Nadia, what's going on? I got a lot of insurance paperwork coming to the house that says that you're...
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
accessing gynecological care five times. And so that's one concern. It won't say on there, like, Nadia came in to talk about birth control pills or pregnancy or whatever, but it'll say that you saw Dr. Gynecologist. It might not say gynecologist, but the parent can look it up, right?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So I looked up what you can do about that if you wanted to keep that confidential. And you can call your insurance, give them, tell them that you have that insurance, that you wanna keep your explanation of benefits sent to you in wherever you're at school instead of sent home. You can request that.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm Yeah, I just honestly feel like nobody if a girl is like in that situation, they're not gonna think that far ahead It's just gonna find Another way to go about it, which can be bad and good Actually, I don't really think of it. I don't really think that's good, but
Alyssa Herrera-Set
written.
Right, you can go.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I mean, it's not bad to access a student health care clinic. That wouldn't go back to your parents as an explanation of benefits report, I don't think. Anyway, well, there's the answer. That if you want to make sure that nothing gets sent, you can tell your physician that you want it to be confidential, even if you're not 18 yet. Like, you're 17 and you're in college. And you can.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm, right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I don't know.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
talk to your insurance and make sure that all of the paperwork related to the visits that you have get sent to you instead of to the policy holder, which is typically your parents, because a lot of people stay on their parents' health insurance until they're 26 years old, which is a good thing, right? Because health insurance can be pretty expensive. If you were told that you had to pay, let's say, $150 a month for health care insurance.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Would you think that's a lot of money or not? Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
For me, yeah. I don't have a job. I don't, like, there's, I'm not really getting money apart from, like, money that you, like, you guys give me. And even then, like, I don't know, being a student is expensive, like, for, in all parts. So, like, having to worry about things like insurance is definitely, like, any amount feels expensive to me. But, like...
Nadia Herrera-Set
It's definitely beneficial. So I don't know. It feel a little bit like, yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I mean, because you could, you could also get your own insurance. And actually, to be honest, $150 a month is really cheap. Like there are people that pay, you know, hundreds of dollars.
Nadia Herrera-Set
No, right, but like I feel like if even someone told me that I needed to pay $10 a month for something like that's still like with my no income like That's still um a lot. Yeah
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Thank you.
Okay, so on that note, what are some places that you know of that you couldn't get healthcare related to like, women's health without your parents knowing? Like you already, we already talked about potentially calling your insurance and making sure that parents don't forget the explanation of benefits that you get it, is your care after all. We talked about, I think we talked about Planned Parenthood.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Did we talk about that? We've talked about the student health care clinic. I think Planned Parenthood is an option. As far as I remember, when you go to Planned Parenthood, you can stay pretty anonymous when you go there. You can put whatever name you want on the paperwork when you walk in. Or you can establish your real name and a regular doctor there. But what about Plan B?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
or morning after pill. Do you know where to get that?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, well, I know I could probably get it at CVS, which there are a few close to school. Um, but we talked about last time that there's like that vending machine with Plan B in it. I know that there's, I don't know, maybe we didn't talk about it on the podcast, but there's a vending machine on campus that is, um, that-
has Plan B in it. Also, like, I'm assuming probably condoms and other stuff. I haven't really taken a good look at it, but I do know that there's Plan B in there, which I feel like is a really good idea. I'm not, I'm sure that there's other places on campus that it is, that has that too, but the one I'm thinking of is like, it's in a pretty public space.
So while it is, I feel like it's a really good idea. It's definitely like nobody really wants, is gonna wanna use it because everyone can see you when you go over there, you know? It's not private at all.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
It's almost like they should put other stuff in there just so that you can be anonymous when you go to it. It's like we have condoms, we have plan B, we also have Snickers and soda. So like it becomes really anonymous.
Nadia Herrera-Set
So.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right. I think like there might be there might be another vetting machine right next to it. It's just like they could totally put it somewhere else. I'm not really sure but they had to put it like right there. It's just like it's in our gym and the gym the way the gym works is like there's a hole in the middle and everything is like around it so if you just look down and there's like a really public restaurant nearby.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Are you serious? That vending machine is in a hole in the middle where everybody on every floor comes down and see you while you're getting your plan B.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Well, well everyone, yeah, well it's like, it's a little bit hard to explain, but it's like against a wall, so it's kind of hidden but not really. There's just a lot of other places it could be and it's really interesting that they chose there. I mean they want people to know that it's there, but...
I don't know. Could have been placed better.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I mean, I guess ideally people aren't ashamed of accessing these things, but I guess there is some reason to be worried that someone might think that you're not, I don't know, that you're irresponsible and that's why you're getting the morning after pill.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right and yeah it's very I don't know shame is a big thing just like you don't I don't know people would want to feel like now everyone can like judge they don't know the whole situation but people like to make their assumptions so it's hard to go up in public and buy something like this although it is free so which is like nice because I think it's like $50 right?
if I went to CVS and also yeah and CVS also locks a lot of these things and so even then you'd have to like press the button and be like guy can you open this for me and then you had to tell them which one you want which they've been doing a lot of recently which I think is really interesting and I feel like I mean they have a reason for it but also
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I have no idea. $50 is a lot.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
What do you think the reason is for it?
Nadia Herrera-Set
I think they do it for things that are either usually stolen, most commonly stolen, or for things that can be used to make other things, you know? I don't really know the whole story, but mostly for things that would be easily stolen. Like...
Yeah, I don't know. It's just really interesting.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So since you have the common college cold, is that what it would it you had a need for it before? Oh.
Nadia Herrera-Set
It's frat flu. But I haven't like gone out to a frat in a while, so I think I'm actually just sick.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Thank you.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Speaking of which, what are you doing this weekend?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, to be decided. I, a lot of my friends are doing sorority rush right now so you're not really allowed to go out. So me and my friends that aren't rushing, how to decide? It's not that you're, it's dry rush, I'm not really sure how it works, but like you're not really allowed to be, you don't want a like
Alyssa Herrera-Set
You're not allowed to go out while you're going through rush.
Nadia Herrera-Set
sister that's in the sorority to like see you out. I don't really know how, I don't know how it works technically, but um I actually don't know if they enforce like no going out, but it's like they encourage you not to and then um so technically you could go to another school and go out, but I don't, I don't know. I feel like if you're really into it might as well just.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Maybe it's in an effort to stay home. Maybe it's in an effort to make sure that people aren't doing rush outside of actual rush, right? So there's moments where you get to recruit people while they're going through formal rush. And then if you find out that some house is throwing a party and are basically trying to entice people to go to their house.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm, yeah. Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right. It's like... what do they call it? I really... see I'm just starting all these terms like from hearing my friends but like that's like dirty rush. I don't really know how that works but like they wouldn't want you to... you're not allowed to speak to the sisters outside of rush and then it could probably lead to whole other things but yeah.
So, not sure yet, but we don't have school on Monday, so...
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Oh, right, because it's Indigenous Peoples Day.
Nadia Herrera-Set
We'll see.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Is that what your school is calling it?
Nadia Herrera-Set
I think so. I hope so.
Nadia Herrera-Set
But yeah, I don't have school. Which will be nice, I think.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So what your mother is hearing is that you have something right now called frat flu, which prevented you from going to school today, but you are still thinking about a nice fun weekend partying with people who aren't going through rush and potentially a long weekend of partying because you don't have school on Monday. Did I hear that right?
Nadia Herrera-Set
It's not a frat flu.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I'm sorry.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Well, I don't have frat flu. I have regular flu, I think, and it's still to be decided. I don't really know yet.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Okay, well, I hope you have a good weekend. I actually really hope that you rest and sleep, maybe watch a cute little movie with your friends. Actually, I saw a good movie that you should see on the way home from Virginia. It's called, What's Love Got to Do With It? Have you heard of it? It's about like.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Hehehehe
Nadia Herrera-Set
Watch movie.
Nadia Herrera-Set
No. Still on Netflix?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
It's on Netflix. It's about like this Pakistani American guy who has an arranged marriage, which she calls like an assisted marriage. And, you know, there's somebody that's like doing a documentary on the whole process. And of course, they fall in love, you know, I mean, I know I gave the ending there, but then, you know, you know, that's going to happen, you know, like you knew that from the start, but it's really cute. I like that. What'd you say? It's totally a mean movie. We got cultural things. We got love. We got...
Nadia Herrera-Set
that movie.
Nadia Herrera-Set
That's such a you movie. Yeah. It's that. Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
you know, a predictable flow, nice and easy. Yeah, or maybe you go do homework first.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. Maybe I'll go watch it right now.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I don't have homework. That's a lie.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Okay, have a good weekend. It's about to get real loud back here.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Don't expose me! Okay, bye!
thoughts on birth control | part 1
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Hey Nadia.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Hello!
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So I have a topic that I want to bring up, but I think this may be a long conversation. So maybe we'll break it up into a couple different episodes. But it's an important one, and it's one that could bring up some uncomfortable moments. Are you ready?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Okay.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I guess so, yes.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Birth control.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Are you ready to talk about birth control with me?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Guess.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Okay. The topic was inspired. This is where I want to start. The topic was inspired by another parent friend of mine, who is the father of a son. And he has a very easy, comfortable relationship with his son where they can speak openly about a lot of things, including birth control and I think sex life in general.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Uh...
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Um, and this, um, father was expressing concern because his son is, um, has a girlfriend, they're sexually active, um, they're having penetrative intercourse, and, um, they, the son is responsible for the birth control because the daughter, um...
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
You mean his girlfriend.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, sorry. That would be sketchy. The son is responsible for the birth control because the son's girlfriend is not able to speak about her sex life and the need for birth control pills with her parents. And I know that you and I have had a previous conversation about just like the facts, like the n control. And I think there's a whole range of how much a parent might speak to their child about sex in general. And this friend of mine, the dad, he feels like the parents should be the number one person that the child should be able to talk to about all their questions related to sex.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
And I just kind of felt differently about it. I felt like I want you, I want my children to be able to talk to me when something is needed, but I don't really feel like I'm, I don't need to be the number one source of information regarding sex education and birth control. I'm wondering what you think about that.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, well, I guess like we have I guess I would call it like a kind like we're we have an open relationship I can I feel like I can talk to you about a lot of things but Topics like that are a little bit more I don't know. It's hard to bring up I don't know. I feel like It's just an awkward conversation that you don't always want to have with your parents I think like thinking about right now. Maybe it's like a difference between like
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Why is it hard to bring up?
Nadia Herrera-Set
girls and boys, like, and sex in general. Um, I don't know. I feel like it's more normalized for guys to just be having sex and girl, like, I don't know. Even though that's not usually, like, the case for everyone. Um, yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
like it's more accepted that like it's like less maybe it's easy to talk about boys having sex males having sex because it's more like socially acceptable like it's like less shameful or something like that.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
It almost feels like... wait, how old are they?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
um late teens and um and to clarify this um father feels comfortable speaking to his daughters about their sex life also and the mother also feels comfortable speaking to both her um sons and her daughters about it too they have actively chosen to be sex positive um yeah so i guess if we
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Is that the ideal? Do you feel a sense of loss because we don't have dinner conversations about, I don't know, the details?
Nadia Herrera-Set
I feel like...
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, I feel like it really depends on like the way that you grow up because like if they're old, if you're really used to being really open, of course you would always lean to your parents to ask questions like this. But I also feel like although we do have an open relationship for some, for most things, like I can talk to like my friends about this, like my peers, and I feel like that's equally
helpful and can give you the same amount of support in certain circumstances. But yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Where else do you guys, where else do young women your age go to for information about all things related to sex? Like...
Nadia Herrera-Set
I would say friends or social media. I feel like a lot of my friends don't talk to their parents about this stuff. Not like whether or not there's something to talk about. It's an awkward conversation that is easier to just avoid. And I don't know. I'm not really sure if they're like...
I'm not really sure if there are ways to get around not asking for your parents for birth control, but I feel like people would choose to go that way instead of having to ask. And a lot of times, like girls when they're younger will go on birth control for like different reasons, like acne, and now it's kind of like, oh, like it's okay. Like I'm glad I'm on it now because now I don't have to ask when I actually need it. You know what I mean?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
But, you know, it's different for everybody.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I remember we had a conversation when you were in high school. You asking for birth control pills because it seemed like a standard. Everybody was on it for multiple reasons, whether it was to control their flow or for
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
to their period, you felt like it was pretty standard.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I feel like at the time, yes, and it still is now. A lot of my friends are on birth control and I do have the birth control pills but I never started taking them because I didn't need it and because of like the circumstances of when I was gonna first take it was like a year ago, like literally a year ago and I was in Greece and I was really sick. So it like didn't seem like the right time. And then now like
I haven't started taking it later because I didn't need it and I just... I don't know. I feel like while the pill is like super standard, there are other options that are just like a little bit less. Like I don't want to have to remember to take it every day, you know?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. Do your friends, is there any concern about taking a daily medication that's hormone related? Like, is anybody worried about side effects or anything like that?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, for the people that are just, I've been taking it. I feel like, no, it's just normalized. Now they've been taking it for at least a few months. So their body's gotten used to it. I do have a friend that stopped taking it because it, it helped with like the period part, cause that's why she first started taking it and then all the other symptoms like.
her heightened and increased and she didn't really realize until after she stopped taking it. So, I don't know, there's definitely a right and wrong choice for everybody, but you kind of have to just try it out.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Is there a feeling about regarding using birth control pills for the purpose of preventing pregnancy? Do you feel like between male and female partners that someone is more responsible for making sure that birth control is in place?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I feel like for like condoms and stuff for that, I mean in the situation you were talking about before, I feel like if you're dating a guy like they should buy it, I don't know, that feels like their responsibility if the girl wants to buy birth control or take birth control that's on them but um I don't know. It can't be all on one person.
So I understand kind of wanting like the girlfriend to talk to their parents or her parents. Um, but in college, I feel like I've just heard, I don't know. It really depends on the person and whether or not they're in a relationship or not. Um, because I feel like when you're in a relationship, it's easier to talk to some about that kind of stuff. But yeah. But if you're not in a relationship.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Like your partner, you mean?
Nadia Herrera-Set
like a relationship with a person then comes a question like I mean in many instances just like talking with friends and stuff it's like they the guy ends up not wanting to use birth control so if you're if the girl is on birth control then I at least you have that but like I feel like yeah which is like
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So that does happen. Like a guy will be like, I don't want to use a condom.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Honestly, disrespectful, like...
Alyssa Herrera-Set
What do they propose? What do they propose is the option of not using the condom? Is it, I don't want to use a condom so we're not going to have sex? Or I don't want to use a condom so-
Nadia Herrera-Set
No, it's like, yeah, so like, I don't really...
I mean, I'm not a guy, but like, I just don't understand why you wouldn't want to use it. It doesn't really, I don't know, especially if you're not in a relationship with that person because that just can lead to a lot of other things on both sides. So I don't know. Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
disease and pregnancy.
Nadia Herrera-Set
And also like you're making the other person uncomfortable like if they wanted to use it, but you know, it's just, I feel like it should be a standard.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So no, I want to dig into this more. They don't want, they just want to refuse to use a condom. So what is their proposal? Like, let's just not have intercourse, or let's pull out, or let's just give it a shot. Where are you on your cycle? Like, what are their options?
Nadia Herrera-Set
I feel like...
Nadia Herrera-Set
Uh, I feel like guys in college know nothing about period cycles, so that's just out of the question. Like they wouldn't even, I don't think they really under, they wouldn't understand, even if you explained it to them, like what that means. But, and even I don't really understand it. Like I don't, I don't know. Whatever. Like it just, it's a, I know it's a cycle, but I know, I don't know the specific parts of it. But I think it's both.
which is just interesting, the way that they think about things. Because they're not affected by the- if you get pregnant, or if you're scared that you're pregnant, like that's not really on them. So.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
It's really interesting. I can't imagine.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
What would the, how do you think it would be received if a guy and a girl were hooking up?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
they're not in a relationship and then the guy doesn't have a condom but the girl does. She happened to bring it with her to a party just in case. Do you think they'd be like, what? Do you just always have this on you or?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Uh-huh.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I mean, it really depends. I don't know. It really depends on the person. I feel like in the best case scenario, you're gonna like as a guy and the girl has the condom and you don't like you should take that as like, oh, thank goodness. Like, you know, but it depends on the person.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah.
I am still like shook from that thought that I would just refuse. That is really interesting. Real quick before we go. I'll go ahead.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I honestly... right? I honestly think like... no I just think it's like whether or not you like respect girls it's just really interesting the way that they think about it but yeah what were you gonna say?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I had this conversation with a bunch of people that are on my age this weekend. It was whether or not there exists consent apps, like are those actually being used? One of the parents I was talking about was saying that her child and somebody that she met that night, they both recorded themselves saying, like, this is my name, I consent to this.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Uh oh.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Like, does that actually happen or is that like one-off situations?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Uhhh...
I would say that's like one-off situations. I don't really hear about that happening. I mean, hopefully like consent is given on both sides, but in certain circumstances, it's not really like, that's not what people like, people's first response is, is to like, let's take a video of this, of us like consenting, you know?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Right. And another parent brought up, like, OK, so maybe they consented at that moment, but then maybe it went to a place where they didn't consent anymore. Like, now you have this video that says that you consented to something, but not maybe whatever that person was hoping it would lead towards.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right, right. So it's definitely like hard situation, you kind of just have to hope that the person like you're with is like, going to respect your boundaries and stuff, which is not always the case, unfortunately.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I don't know.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
All right. I think we covered a lot in just like 20 minutes and I'm left with other questions, but maybe we'll do it in another episode. I'm thinking since you, hmm?
Nadia Herrera-Set
We can do a part two. I said we can do a part two.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. I'm thinking since like the one thing that you were not aware of was the cycle Maybe we should bring somebody in to like explain that
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, probably. It's pretty important.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I mean, it's good to know. It's kind of like a hard, hard method to follow as far as preventing pregnancy.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it's more used for when you want to get pregnant, but...
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, yeah. All right, nice talking to you.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Okay. Nice talking to you too. Goodbye. Okay.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Okay, done with the awkward conversation.
Bye.
work life balance, being a young woman in stem, and dealing with stress in university
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Hey, Nadia.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Hello. I'm good. How are you?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
How's it going?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I'm good. Um, are you really good?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mmm, worse were what's the word? I'm surviving, not thriving. Actually I am thriving. But not in all parts of the day.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Hehehe
Alyssa Herrera-Set
What do you mean? What parts are you thriving in?
Nadia Herrera-Set
any part where I'm not doing organic chemistry.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Okay, why did you choose to take organic chemistry? You're a public health major and it's not a requirement. Why did you choose to take it?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Hehehe
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Definitely a question I've been asked multiple times this semester. Um, and it's only been like, yeah, I know and everyone's very curious. I have always thought I wanted to work in like a hospital, which means med school. In the traditional sense, that means med school. And so, um...
Alyssa Herrera-Set
It's only been two weeks.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I'm considering going pre-med. The thing is with Northeastern is that one public health, public health was like the major I was always interested in doing or pursuing, but it's very new major at Northeastern. So they already had a major and it was health sciences, which is like the basic health, I mean, I mean, it's the basic like health major and their major requirements are a little bit more based on what you need for pre-med.
And so things like Orgo you kinda need to take. And most people that are a health science major are pre-med. I guess maybe not most, but a lot of people are. And so, right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I mean, I'm sure there's also like pre-dental, pre-ner, not pre-nursing, because there's a nursing major, but pre-PT.
Nadia Herrera-Set
There's a pre-PA. Yeah, pre-PA, pre-PT, pre-dental. I'm sure there are others, but yeah. The public health, I didn't really get along with my academic advisor when I first talked to her about all this because I told her I wanted to do pre-med classes and she said the best thing for me to do would be to switch.
to health sciences, but I wanted to keep public health and consider doing pre-med. So basically I'm doing whatever I want and I chose to take Orgo in case I want to be pre-med later on. But I'm not pre-med yet.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I mean, you could have chosen to take all your pre-med requirements after you graduated with your public health major.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right. But I also like had elective spaces and like why not take it here? I also have a lot of friends that are health science majors so I like have a lot of classes with them and we're all taking organic chemistry together. Not in the same class but you know I think and I like having
Nadia Herrera-Set
And I would have to take those public health classes anyways with the health science major, which is a sudden, it makes, it's complicated, but there's just so many overlaps that would make it like for me easier if I just switched to health sciences, but I'm being kind of stubborn and I don't want to. So I'm just gonna keep with this and do whatever I want.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I think that's the first, I mean, this is like one of the first situations where you're going to be advised to do one thing. But for good or for bad, right or wrong, you have this other thing in mind, and you choose to do the thing that you want to do, which I think happens a lot in life, but specifically in life as a female going into a profession.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
uh... that
is male dominated. I want to say that I don't actually know the stats on how many physicians or health care providers are male versus female. But I mean, the standard is that most work situations are male dominated. The leaders in organizations are male. So being female, being young, and choosing to take your own path is tough. But it's like something that.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
That is good practice, I guess I would say.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, I did actually hear though. And it's like a very male dominated like in like the exec, like in the very high ups of healthcare. But I've heard that there's like, it's like a lot more women dominated in like med school and like even in my like the like pre, the health science like field, like in the basic health science classes, a lot of the times it's mostly girls and like three guys.
which is very interesting. But maybe it's also the school, the school, but I don't know. But yeah, it is definitely something challenging, but something that will be helpful later on.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I mean, I feel that too in physical therapy. In my class at UCSF, there were 30, about 35 students, 30, 35 students, and 10 of them or so were male. And...
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So that felt like, you know, like a pretty female dominated, or majority female class setting. But in the profession of physical therapy, although there are more women than men, I feel like the loudest voices, and especially in leadership of sports physical therapy, which is what my specialty is, there are a lot of, it's male culture and male leaders.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Man, yeah. Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I have found some really amazing female leaders in my profession and gravitate towards them when I'm looking for advice on how to run my practice and how to progress my career. But yeah, I would say it's majority. Or that's what I feel like the loudest voices are. Yeah. So are you feeling like?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
taking OKEM, well, I call it OKEM, you call it ORGO. Are you feeling like OKEM? Oh, really? Is it a, are you regretting signing up for the class?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, I don't know. I feel like that's an East Coast thing. I don't know.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, I'm not regretting it. I just... it's... I don't know. I enjoy class- like... I- In the past, like math classes, they're not easy, but I feel like... like doing quite- like questions with things that have actual answers instead of like, you know, what you do in humanities classes. It comes a lot easier to me, but
And so Orgo is more of like that math type chemist. I mean, it's chemistry. So it's like problems with answers. And in that sense, I enjoy that, but it's definitely gonna be kind of a, not like...
the school making their break for me. It's like me like deciding on what I want to do next because if I end this semester really enjoying Orgo, then I would go on to Orgo 2 and then I would continue with like Physics 1 and Physics 2. If I, I don't think I'll end the class not enjoying it. I have a good teacher. I just, I don't know.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Hehehehe
Nadia Herrera-Set
I feel like it's a little, it's definitely gonna make me think because if I, and plus I'm taking my co-op classes and I'll be on co-op next semester, so there's a lot of things in this semester that are like, um, dictating what I want to be doing, not like in, like for long term, but like in the short term, like in the next like five years. No, maybe two years. I don't know.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
You will just know that along the way of whatever, along your path, there's going to be a lot of opportunities for you to decide which direction to go. And there are some built-in hoops to jump. Is that the saying? Yeah. There are some like.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
obstacles.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Um...
built in traditional obstacles that people put in the way. It's hazing you to get to wherever you want to go. Organic chemistry is, I feel like one of those things. People get frustrated and like, what does this have to do with what I'm doing? This is so hard. I'm not going to be doing this deep of chemistry. But it's a little bit of showing someone that you have the dedication to get
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
through this obstacle because not just med school, but lots of other professional programs are challenging and they want to see. And that's also what college is about too a little bit. You're learning, but you're also telling the world, I'm making a commitment to getting the education. You can trust me that I can stick to something and see it through to the end.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah. I mean, I did. I say that. But also, like, I'm not really I'm not going to like give up on, you know, some like science as a whole, like I'm not going to like change directions completely. But I don't know, there's just a lot of things to think about. And with my co-op too, I also had to choose like clinical versus research. And so something like this.
Actually, like right now think like because of my orgo class I'm more interested in just like really getting into a clinical setting because and maybe it's like a research job, but in a clinical setting, but I Want to get fully immersed into it because I if I don't like it then There's just so many other paths I could take and I then I'll have like so many other class like class spots but
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Right, you want to be wasting time taking pre-med classes if you don't see yourself working in a clinical setting. And there's a lot of health professional directions you can go that don't require organic chemistry. I had to take physics in one and two for physical therapy, but I did not have to take organic chemistry, just regular chem, to a year of regular chem. Okay, so.
Nadia Herrera-Set
right.
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I'm sure that any college student listening to this wondering if they're going to be pre-med is like, okay, enough about the organic chemistry. I totally feel you on this, but it's so stressful to think about what kinds of things are you doing to balance out the stress of school.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, well, it's definitely something like, it's like a continuous process for me. Cause I feel like I, my personality, I can make things more like anything more stressful than it has to be. But, um, and you know this, but I, in the beginning, like the first couple of weeks, like I went to the gym with my friends a lot and even like, we're not like doing crazy things at the gym, but it's definitely.
nice to get that kind of exercise. And I just recently joined the club gymnastics team at Northeastern, which is definitely something that I didn't expect to do, but I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. And that's another outlet. I think exercise really helps, even if I'm not
Alyssa Herrera-Set
outlet.
Nadia Herrera-Set
just to do something that's really not school and I can't be doing school at the same time because sometimes like I can watch TV and do all these things but I might be doing work at the same time and it's not really like
Alyssa Herrera-Set
enjoyable. You're not relaxing. Do you do anything that's like, chill? Like you say, you go to school, and then you exercise, and then you do gymnastics. Like, do you do anything that's just like, calm? And then I know that you go out on the weekend. So, do you do anything that's like, quiet and peaceful? Do you find that like, helpful at all?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah. Um, yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um...
Nadia Herrera-Set
uh, I sleep. There's not really a lot of quiet, peaceful time. But I also am not the type of person that really needs that. I think, I mean sometimes my roommates and I will like all just watch South Park together. Which I love that show so much. So I don't know. It's like little things.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Thank you.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I've been trying to cook for myself. We talked about food the last time. And recently I've been trying to cook. But that's also been a little bit stressful.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
trying to figure out cooking, like cooking itself is stressful or like the stress of trying to make sure you're eating healthy or whatever.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I like all of it. And then buying food. Money is very stressful.
and everything costs money.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, I mean, if you think about every part of life being like, stressful, like you attach that word stressful to it, then it probably will be. Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
It can be attached to anything. Yeah. In the beginning, I mean, I really have only been here like three weeks, but I feel like I've been here forever. I haven't really been that stressed out, thankfully. And I think it's all kind of a little bit catching up, but it is that time of the month where like all your classes are gonna have like quizzes or tests and...
It's not like, oh fun, we're back at college. It's like, we're back at college and you have like work to do. But, I don't know.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah. So are your friends doing like, are they similarly stressed about life and what are they doing to like, mitigate the stress?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm
Well, yeah, I mean, we're all a little bit stressed, but we're all to have our have our own things. My roommates, one of them's in the dance company at Northeastern. And I have other roommates that are rushing sororities and pre-med for hats. So there's definitely like a lot of little outlets. We've all like gone to like club meetings, but.
I don't know, like it's definitely a lot of stress right now, but I feel like in the next couple months it'll calm down. There'll still be like stress. Yeah, I think once we have like a routine, you know, because all of us are like trying out for like all these different things, like it's been a lot of like go go, but then once those things have their schedules, I think it'll be easier.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
You think so?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
to manage.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, yeah, I can see that. Like, everything's like kind of disorganized right now.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
What kind of things does your school have for you guys to balance out the, you know, like if you're feeling like you can't handle it or maybe that's a little bit dramatic, like if you're just feeling like a little bit extra, what kinds of things does your school offer?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah. There are, um, like, health counseling services. I've never personally used it, but, um, that is available. And, like, I think it was implemented after COVID. It's, like, uh, I'm not sure what it's called. Like, a health day, basically, that you can, like, because some of the classes, like, they don't want you to not show up. Um, so...
you can like get your absence excuse basically. You just have to like ask for it ahead of time, which is kind of, I mean, there's like, it's up in the right direction. I don't know, right? I don't know, maybe you can do it after it happens, after the fact, but I think another thing is a lot of my classes are pretty hard, right? Like my classes are pretty hard, so I feel like if I miss a day,
Alyssa Herrera-Set
How far in advance? You're like, it's one minute before class, I need a health day.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I'm gonna miss a lot. And like, Orgo is my only class. I can, and I guess Biostats, but like, are the only two classes I can skip because they don't take attendance. But if I do skip those classes, like, I'm gonna be lost the next time. So it's like, I have to, I have to go. I mean, I don't have to, but I should.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, it makes it more stressful to not go.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah. Um, are there another?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I thought I saw you guys have like, puppies on campus and stuff.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, oh yeah, they, well there's always like a, actually I don't know where they stay, but Northeastern has like dogs that I think are connected with like NUPD, but they walk around and they also have like baby huskies. A lot of clubs, yeah very cute, a lot of clubs like have little, most times like clubs will have things set up on-
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So cute.
Nadia Herrera-Set
A club will have something set up. You could like buy food or like do a, I don't know, have a little activity. But it is like, they want money, but those are kind of fun.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Do they have a crisis hotline?
Nadia Herrera-Set
I mean, they should. I don't even know. But.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Okay, say you had a friend that had a crisis. What would your first step be? What do you think? What would you do? A mental health crisis.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I would.
I don't even know if I'd go through Northeastern.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
you just call a physics, like you call 911 or something like that, or like go online.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, just because like, I mean, I guess this is just a sign I need to look this up. But I would just call 911 because it would be too much. I would have to like look up right these, you know, like I'd have to look it all up. I'm sure they have a crisis hotline, but there is an actual crisis hotline that could be more helpful. Or less, I don't know.
Thankfully I've never had to be in that situation, but I don't know. Sometimes like going through school, it just feels like it would take longer. I don't know. Like, there's just like too many like things you have to go through instead of just going straight to like the hospital. Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
an emergency situation. Yeah. Well, I bet they have things in place for long-term help. I'm assuming, and maybe it's wrong for me to assume, but I'm assuming that there is mental health, there's counseling on campus that's available to students, that they have regular appointments available, and that they can help students.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
that are having a really hard time, maybe advocate for themselves if they're like falling behind in class because they're going through a hard time, whether it's their issue or not. Like you could be having some kind of tragedy in the family or some like loss of money or something all of a sudden, and you need help and someone to advocate for you. I'm hoping that the school has that in place.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right. Yeah. Oh, I- they definitely do. I just... I'm not... Yeah. Thank goodness. But I should probably be more aware of the resources I have. Um, but yeah. Thankfully I have not to use it. I think another like stressor too is like, um...
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Haven't had to find it.
Nadia Herrera-Set
the social life on campus. So even like you said, I do go out like on the weekends, but I mean like more like within like friend groups and stuff and I feel like especially this semester, everyone's like really busy and taking different classes. And so like, I feel an added pressure of like, oh, I haven't seen this person in a while. I should probably reach out to them or like, I don't know. It's just like hard to.
I feel like me personally, I'm like thinking of my, I think of myself and all the things, all my responsibilities with it. I'm like, oh, I have other people, like I have friends that I should probably take account for too, which is a little bit stressful, but doesn't have to be.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah. Right. Like, you don't want to lose touch with these people that are important to you, but life is busy and you're not crossing paths. And so now you feel like this responsibility to reach out to them or else you might lose them as a friend, which is both like, like you want to have friends and so you worry about losing them, but also you want to take care of your friends. So you want to reach out to them.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. I think that mainly also applies like friends at home too. There's just like a lot of different things. And I don't know why it feels like more this semester. I don't necessarily feel homesick as much as like in the way that I did in my first year. But I think a lot of things are changing. So it's like, I just want to go back to...
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Like do I wanna like, yeah, yeah. When I knew what was happening.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
stability.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, I feel like, gosh, that's probably what your 20s is about. Or 18 to 28 or something is kind of like just 10 years of instability. So you're at the start of your ride right now.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm. Yay. Yeah, but we'll see.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
All right, so I think I'll let you to go study for Orgo. Have a good weekend. Okay, bye.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yay! You too! Bye!
eating, food, and diet culture in college
Alyssa Herrera-Set: Hey, Nadia. Nadia Herrera-Set: Hello. Alyssa Herrera-Set: How's it going? Nadia Herrera-Set: I'm good, how are you? Alyssa Herrera-Set: I'm good. I was looking forward to our talk today, because it was actually really surprisingly nice to talk to you in this podcast forum last week. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah, I really enjoyed it too. Alyssa Herrera-Set: And I have a question for you, which is potentially, I mean, I think this conversation could become slightly sensitive or controversial. Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: And it's inspired by a lot of things that have conversations I've had in the past week. And it is food and nutrition and diet culture Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: amongst college women. And Nadia Herrera-Set: cave. Alyssa Herrera-Set: I think the most, I think there are a couple of things that Nadia Herrera-Set: loaded Alyssa Herrera-Set: came up. Nadia Herrera-Set: topic. Alyssa Herrera-Set: What did you say? Nadia Herrera-Set: I said loaded topic. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah, loaded topic. So there's a couple things that came up. One of them was this and I want to know your thoughts on this. So I was talking to this mom. And she was telling me that her daughter was going to college. And she told her daughter that if she stayed slim, they would continue to give her allowance. So Nadia Herrera-Set: Wow. Alyssa Herrera-Set: it wasn't just that. I'm making that sound worse than it was. Nadia Herrera-Set: I'm Alyssa Herrera-Set: It's still bad, but it was if you get Nadia Herrera-Set: sorry. Alyssa Herrera-Set: good grades and if you stay slim, but maybe the mom said, if you stay healthy and you get good grades. But loaded Nadia Herrera-Set: Uh... Alyssa Herrera-Set: in that question or Nadia Herrera-Set: right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: in between the lines is like, if you don't gain weight in college, then we will continue to Nadia Herrera-Set: pray. Alyssa Herrera-Set: give you money. Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Any Nadia Herrera-Set: I Alyssa Herrera-Set: thoughts on that? Nadia Herrera-Set: think that's really hard. I feel like in the beginning when you first start college, you're like, oh yeah, like, I don't think everyone talks about the freshman 15, but it doesn't really seem that like, seems pretty out of reach just because like that's, I don't know. For me personally, I did gymnastics like all throughout middle school and high school. So the thought of it was like something that I personally hadn't experienced before. And I it wouldn't be that much different having to get food for myself. I'm not that of a beginner cook or I know how to order food and stuff like that. So it didn't feel like something that would happen, but it's really, I think, I mean, a lot of people talk about it, but the college transition is pretty difficult. And I think, I mean, people cope in different ways, but I... like I was abroad and I feel like, and I know you heard a lot about me like complaining about food and stuff like that, but with like when you are eating a bunch of food that you might not like, you end up buying your own and that doesn't necessarily mean it's like the best food. I'm like going for like the junk food that I miss from home and it all kind of adds up. along with like stress and all of that, it's definitely, it happens without like you noticing. And so I think when I came back from my first semester of college, I was like, I definitely saw a difference in the way that I saw myself in the mirror, not necessarily that there was like that big of a like weight change or whatever, like it just, I felt different. And... And I think it was because of all of those things. But something that I feel like parents and everyone should take more into account is like, just everything that you did in high school is not gonna be the same in college. And so if you don't have like a parent like cooking for you anymore, like changes are gonna happen without the kid noticing. So I don't know, it's hard to like tell your kid that you have to stay slim because it's kind of. almost out of their control. But now that I'm a second year, I feel like I've gotten a better hang of it, not to say that I'm the best at it, but I've definitely tried to have healthier foods around and when you're stressed, you just wanna snack and if you are aware of it, it's... easier to control it. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Nadia Herrera-Set: But I don't know, Alyssa Herrera-Set: And there Nadia Herrera-Set: it's Alyssa Herrera-Set: was a Nadia Herrera-Set: like, Alyssa Herrera-Set: lot there. Nadia Herrera-Set: it's really hard. Alyssa Herrera-Set: There was like, yeah, there's a lot. Like, many people do sports in high school. Not many, but there are there are Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: people that do sports in high school that don't do sports in college. So if you go from like in your Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: situation, like 20 to 25 hours of doing a sport to you're not doing gymnastics Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: in college anymore. And then it's like, At most, you're going Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: to get an hour a day. You're never going to force yourself to go to the gym Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: for four hours on your own in Nadia Herrera-Set: right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: a day. So there's that. There's also you're just growing. You're continuing to develop Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: and become a woman. So that's inevitable that you are going to grow into your woman adult Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: body. And then there's Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah, Alyssa Herrera-Set: the other. Nadia Herrera-Set: totally. Alyssa Herrera-Set: if you have coping mechanisms like eating for comfort that adds to it. I was thinking like Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: what are the, I mean I guess this varies Nadia Herrera-Set: Drinking Alyssa Herrera-Set: from person Nadia Herrera-Set: also, Alyssa Herrera-Set: to person. Nadia Herrera-Set: I think. like drinking, like Alyssa Herrera-Set: Alright. Nadia Herrera-Set: if I've heard like many stories of like, I don't not necessarily in the best form, but like people just noticing like after someone has been in college for a certain amount of time, like they're always out at parties and like, you can just tell that they look different than they did in high school, which is like, I don't know, especially with social media, those differences, like people really take them into account, which is not a good thing, but it just like, that's just the way life is. You're gonna like not look the same as you did in high school. But I think that like eating and all that kind of all the like college stuff. Your first year definitely play a big role. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Right, drinking alcohol, maybe evening munchies. Nadia Herrera-Set: Maybe. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah, so there's that. OK, what was I going to say? Oh, what are the, what do you think? how much does it play a role that some people were under so much control and restriction under their parents and then they go to college and then they just go crazy can they because they now have the choice to eat whatever they want and Before their parents used to Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: control it and now they're gonna either rebel or they don't know how to make decisions for themselves Because their parents always made the decision for them Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. I think the freedom is in all ways in college is like something that you definitely have to like teach yourself how to control it. But yeah, I could definitely see how like being you have a certain amount of money that you could spend whatever from a job, from an allowance, and now no one's telling you what you can and can't buy with it. So it's easy to be like, let's just spend all on this food that I was never able to eat when I was at home. Yeah, that's definitely hard. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Okay, so what advice do you have for me and for the other moms Nadia Herrera-Set: Uh... Alyssa Herrera-Set: out there? You and I had a really interesting conversation that like really caused me to pause. And it was last year. You, Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: as a mom who's always been a part of your life, I continue to wanna be a part of your life, right? So I'd ask you questions, normal questions. Sometimes it's like, how's school? Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: How's your friends? Are you sleeping well? blah, blah. So at Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: one point, our conversation became, what are you doing for breakfast? Because you were living at the dorms, and you're like, I had apples. And I said, oh, did you get the apples from Trader Joe's, or did you get it from the cafeteria? I don't remember what the answer was. Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: And then I might have said, did you pair it with some protein? I'm not sure if I said that. to pair your Nadia Herrera-Set: Probably. Alyssa Herrera-Set: carbs with fiber and protein. I don't know. I'm not sure if I went there. And then I said, and then you were talking about how you were going to have Popeyes for lunch. And I was like, Nadia Herrera-Set: Hehehe Alyssa Herrera-Set: I said something like, is that really the healthiest choice? You know, because I know I'm paying for your food Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: at the dorms. and you're choosing not to go to the cafeteria where there's like some steamed vegetables and salad and, you know, grilled chicken or something, you Nadia Herrera-Set: Hehehe Alyssa Herrera-Set: chose to get a Popeyes chicken sandwich or whatever you chose to get. And I said, is that really the healthiest choice? And your response, like super quick, was like, I don't need to be telling you all the things that I'm eating. And I was like, oh, like I felt all of a sudden like I went too far. And Nadia Herrera-Set: Wow. Alyssa Herrera-Set: like, on Nadia Herrera-Set: I Alyssa Herrera-Set: the Nadia Herrera-Set: didn't, Alyssa Herrera-Set: one hand, Nadia Herrera-Set: I don't Alyssa Herrera-Set: I- Nadia Herrera-Set: remember saying that. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Oh my god, I specifically remember that because I've always been very, I feel like I've been around a lot of eating disorders in my life, you know, like my friends and because I work with Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: gymnasts and dancers, like I've been around a lot of eating disorders. So like, there's Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: this weird balance, like I want to encourage you to eat healthy, but I don't want to like cause some kind of weird religious conflict to food. And so when you said, I don't tell you all the things that I Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: eat, I was like, Oh God, I'm being one of those weird parents Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah Alyssa Herrera-Set: that drive their child towards weird relationships with food. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: And so I stopped Nadia Herrera-Set: I mean... Alyssa Herrera-Set: and actually part of that on a side note was contributed to me getting a dog so that I could focus my attention on feeding another animal. Nadia Herrera-Set: That's really funny. I like that had that conversation, probably a text conversation too had that much of an impact. But I don't know. I think it's definitely obviously I don't always I'm not always like I want I don't want you always asking questions about it. But in Greece, when I was studying abroad, I did go to you when I was like, I know I'm eating all these bad things that I don't know. how to like, and I'm being served all these things that I know aren't that healthy and I'm not really sure what they are. And like I didn't, I wasn't sure how to go about that. I don't know, you have to find a balance. I feel like it really depends on the person. And I've also had to always had a really weird relationship with food, because I love, I love food, but being an athlete for a long time and then, I don't know, like having to like. Then when I'm in college and I'm managing my own health with my food, I don't know, it's definitely a struggle. So it helps when someone's like, I guess calling you out, but it really depends on the person. I guess that maybe I was feeling really, maybe you got me on a wrong day, Alyssa Herrera-Set: Thanks Nadia Herrera-Set: on Alyssa Herrera-Set: for Nadia Herrera-Set: a Alyssa Herrera-Set: watching! Nadia Herrera-Set: bad day. Ha ha ha. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Well, it made an impression and resulted in our dog. So, yeah. Nadia Herrera-Set: So in the end it was good. Alyssa Herrera-Set: It's funny Nadia Herrera-Set: Hehehe Alyssa Herrera-Set: that you don't remember because I've told the other parents this story multiple times about that cow when you put me in Nadia Herrera-Set: Hey Alyssa Herrera-Set: check, but you don't remember. So going back to that original parent Nadia Herrera-Set: That's Alyssa Herrera-Set: that I Nadia Herrera-Set: funny. Alyssa Herrera-Set: was talking about, she is a her daughter to send her pictures of her food every day. like what she's eating. Nadia Herrera-Set: Like, is she in the dorm? Oh, cause she's a first, she's a freshman. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah, she's a freshman. Nadia Herrera-Set: So she's Alyssa Herrera-Set: So, Nadia Herrera-Set: only eating at the dorm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: and I don't know, I think that I think that's all that could potentially all contribute to some potentially unhealthy relationship with food and unhealthy relationship between Nadia Herrera-Set: right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: parent and child. But I here's where Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: you like draw the line again. So I you the other thing that happened this week was you got really excited because I sent you an air fryer. Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Because I wanted Nadia Herrera-Set: I love it. Alyssa Herrera-Set: to encourage you to eat Nadia Herrera-Set: Heh. Alyssa Herrera-Set: vegetables. Nadia Herrera-Set: Oh, and I sent you a picture of it. Alyssa Herrera-Set: You sent me a picture of it. The text that you sent me was so cute. You're like, guys, she's here. It's like a picture of your air fryer, which it made me happy to make you happy. Nadia Herrera-Set: I was really excited. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah. But- Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: I had said to you, I will get you an air fryer if you send me a picture every time you're eating air fried Nadia Herrera-Set: Oh, Alyssa Herrera-Set: broccoli, Nadia Herrera-Set: mm-hmm. Vegetables. Alyssa Herrera-Set: vegetables. Nadia Herrera-Set: Well, okay, I feel like there's a difference between that and the story that you were saying before. Because when I sent you the pictures, because, well, I sent you a picture of my vegetables the other day and they didn't look good and I thought it was funny, so like I wanted to send it, but also to be like, look, I did it. I feel like there's a difference between me doing it on my own terms versus someone asking me to do it. I feel like if you were in that mom's position, you asked me to send a picture of my food every day, I'd like two things. One, I would send you the picture of the food and like... like perfect it basically. Like I wanna make sure that you're looking at something that you want me to be eating. And so then I'm going around the dining hall and I'm like, I want that. But if I send a picture of that, I'm gonna get in trouble. Or like, not that I'm gonna get in trouble, but like she's gonna say something. And two, after Alyssa Herrera-Set: So is Nadia Herrera-Set: doing Alyssa Herrera-Set: it helpful? Nadia Herrera-Set: that, Alyssa Herrera-Set: Is Nadia Herrera-Set: I Alyssa Herrera-Set: that Nadia Herrera-Set: feel Alyssa Herrera-Set: a good Nadia Herrera-Set: like it's Alyssa Herrera-Set: thing? Nadia Herrera-Set: a type of thing of like, it is a good thing, but then also it's like, You I well, I don't know. I'm not an expert, but I always tell myself like everything in moderation. So I'm telling myself I can never, ever, ever eat pizza ever again. Like, that's not necessarily. Like it, that's not necessarily something that has to happen. It's you don't want it every day, but it's not something you can never have. But I think another thing that. What might happen is... like her eating or me in this situation eating food, but not sending a picture of it, you know, like, Alyssa Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm, like hiding. Nadia Herrera-Set: and then whatever food I spend on my own money or outside or whatever, even still in the dining hall is gonna be an act of like, I'm just gonna rebel against whatever healthy food I've been being told to eat every day. I don't know, but maybe she looks. I don't know, maybe her daughter likes it like that. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Right. It's like this bounce, like, on the one hand, it's cute because you have like this supportive relationship and you're staying in contact. Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: On the other hand, it's like over surveilling, you know, like, is that a word? Surveilling? Like, too Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah, Alyssa Herrera-Set: much Nadia Herrera-Set: yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: helicopter parenting, you know? I feel like we have such Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: an opportunity to get so much in your business. Like we can see pictures of everything on Instagram. We can follow you on Find My or Life360 or wherever I'm following you on. We Nadia Herrera-Set: Ah... Alyssa Herrera-Set: get messages when you make purchases. So I know exactly where Nadia Herrera-Set: Hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: you're purchasing things. Like when I asked you if you bought some healthy snacks at the liquor store. And then... Nadia Herrera-Set: She's exposing me. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Or you did though, right? You bought nuts and, um, like some dried fruit at the liquor store? Nadia Herrera-Set: Yep. Yes. Alyssa Herrera-Set: And we see everything. It's a little bit much, you know, like, Nadia Herrera-Set: Mmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: or maybe that's just the Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: way life is. But it seems like a bit much. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah, it is a lot. I feel, I don't know. A lot of things, but for me, a lot of these things that you just said happen without like my, like that's just gonna, like I can't do anything about it cause that's on your end. I can't Alyssa Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Nadia Herrera-Set: like take my phone off of your find my iPhone and I can't like stop you from getting text messages when I buy things. And I mean, I don't know. Those things are good, but I can't control it. I feel like, but maybe that's just like your style of parenting, but I'm like fine with it because there's no way, I feel like there's no way I can like change that. And it's Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah. Nadia Herrera-Set: not like I'm doing anything wrong. So Alyssa Herrera-Set: Well, you don't know any Nadia Herrera-Set: I don't Alyssa Herrera-Set: different. Nadia Herrera-Set: really, Alyssa Herrera-Set: You don't know Nadia Herrera-Set: it's Alyssa Herrera-Set: what Nadia Herrera-Set: not Alyssa Herrera-Set: it was Nadia Herrera-Set: like, Alyssa Herrera-Set: like Nadia Herrera-Set: I Alyssa Herrera-Set: to Nadia Herrera-Set: don't Alyssa Herrera-Set: be, Nadia Herrera-Set: really have anything to hide. Alyssa Herrera-Set: right? You don't know what it's like to be like, because Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: when I was in my 20s, my parents had no idea where I was or what I was doing. And so Nadia Herrera-Set: Right, Alyssa Herrera-Set: your generation Nadia Herrera-Set: right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: has, this is all you know is your parents being able Nadia Herrera-Set: But Alyssa Herrera-Set: to see Nadia Herrera-Set: then, Alyssa Herrera-Set: wherever you are. Nadia Herrera-Set: yeah, and you grew up like that with your parents not knowing where you were. It's just like. uh, something that changed over the Alyssa Herrera-Set: Thank Nadia Herrera-Set: years, Alyssa Herrera-Set: you. Nadia Herrera-Set: but probably for the better. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Maybe. OK, one last topic, which we only have a couple of minutes, but so this might have to go on to another episode. Do you Nadia Herrera-Set: Okay. Alyssa Herrera-Set: see people, friends, with disordered eating habits or disordered eating that you're concerned about? And what do you do about that? Nadia Herrera-Set: Well, recently, no. I think it's just not necessarily disordered eating, but ways of thinking. Like you want to, just, I don't know. It's hard to think about what's healthy for you when you're like getting your food from the dining hall. And now for us as second years, like starting to make your own food. It's... hard to make that decision if we don't really have all the information about like the nutrition and like what's actually really bad for you and what's really good for you. I don't know. I don't it's not like anyone that I see not eating or eating not like not enough of what they should be. It's more like avoiding certain foods or I don't know. Oh, like I can't get up and get seconds at the dining hall because it's gonna, like everyone's gonna judge me. I've Alyssa Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Nadia Herrera-Set: personally felt that. I don't know, it's like maybe that's an internal thing. I still go up and I get more food, but it's Alyssa Herrera-Set: Thank Nadia Herrera-Set: like Alyssa Herrera-Set: you. Nadia Herrera-Set: people are gonna see me getting more food and be like, why, like she already had food. Why is she still hung? Like it's like a whole bunch of things, but maybe that's because like I'm surrounded by girls. guys Alyssa Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Nadia Herrera-Set: obviously think differently, they're gonna eat whatever they want and get out. Like I've seen guys with like piles of food and they don't they don't care. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Thanks for watching! Nadia Herrera-Set: But I don't know, it's hard as I feel like it's always gonna be hard but Alyssa Herrera-Set: I mean, I remember Nadia Herrera-Set: especially Alyssa Herrera-Set: actually Nadia Herrera-Set: in the dining Alyssa Herrera-Set: being Nadia Herrera-Set: hall. Alyssa Herrera-Set: in PT school. And one of the first lunches that I had in PT school, we all like ate inside our classroom. And Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: there's 30 people in my class, the majority of them were eating healthy foods, like cut up bell peppers and like salads. And I straight had a burger Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: in like the styrofoam box thing. And I was like, all of a sudden feeling really self-conscious because you know, I am a- Nadia Herrera-Set: Hehehehe... Alyssa Herrera-Set: future healthcare professional and amongst Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: the specific healthcare professionals that care about like, you know, nutrition and fitness, and they're all eating healthy foods and I was eating Nadia Herrera-Set: Right, Alyssa Herrera-Set: a burger and Nadia Herrera-Set: right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: fries, I definitely like felt all of a sudden self conscious. So it doesn't end, I guess. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. They Alyssa Herrera-Set: Um Nadia Herrera-Set: just want to put up a front then. Nobody really likes bell peppers. Alyssa Herrera-Set: I've grown to like bell peppers and fresh ones, not cooked ones in my later years. Nadia Herrera-Set: I can't understand it, but it's okay. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Okay, well, nice talking to you. Until next week. Nadia Herrera-Set: Nice talking to you too. Bye.
finding your community in college.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Hey, Nadia.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Hello.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Hello. So now you're in Boston, and I'm back in the Bay Area, or still here in the Bay Area. And it's your first week of your second year of college,
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Northeastern. How are you doing?
Nadia Herrera-Set:
I'm good. I feel like I'm getting back in my school groove. I was here pretty recently, so I feel like nothing has really changed going back to normal. It's just really extremely hot outside, but I have AC, so it's okay.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
You're so lucky that you have air conditioning.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Yeah, really, really lucky. It is like 99% humidity outside. in 90 degrees so really not the most comfortable situation if you don't have a cool room.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
That's terrible, actually. That sounds terrible to me. But does that mean that most of you guys are staying indoors most of the day?
Nadia Herrera-Set:
For the most part yeah, unless you want to go like actually roast outside a lot of my friends will take Will come to our room since we have the AC
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Does every room in your building have air conditioning?
Nadia Herrera-Set:
In my building, yeah, but not all the dorms. So not all the buildings, but in my building they do.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Oh my gosh, you are so lucky. So
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
you were saying that you feel like things are back to normal because you're back in your dorms. And I'm curious, now that it's your second year of school, are you feeling like school is home? And when you come home to us, to the family, that's like a
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
trip away?
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Um, I feel like I'm in that transition. It doesn't quite feel like that yet, but I definitely think that it will. I just, I think it's easier to be here than home for like, I don't know, like for having a schedule kind of purpose. Because when I'm home, I'm not, I'm not really doing anything. And it's kind of up to me to like decide my day, but when I'm at school, like I have class, I have this, I have... I'm going to the gym, I'm eating dinner, I have like a meeting. So in that way it feels like a little bit easier to manage but that doesn't mean I have a way busier schedule.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm. So as far as your schedule, you're mostly going to school. Are you planning on working this semester?
Nadia Herrera-Set:
I had a job last semester and over the summer when I was here over the summer and I'm I was considering it. I feel like I may not go back. I worked at a grocery store which is like a pretty easy job. It's not very like intense and I'm kind of doing my own thing the whole time. I'm not really talking to anybody else except for customers. But I do feel like an urge to kind of make a person for myself at Northeastern itself. And if I have a job, that means that I probably won't have the time to like go to certain club meetings or go to the gym with my friends and meet new people at the gym or like go to an event that has been hosted on campus. So, I'm still deciding, but we'll
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Yeah,
Nadia Herrera-Set:
see.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
make money versus make kind of like memories or find a community, a larger community or be part of the larger community at Northeastern. Yeah,
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right,
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
so go ahead.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
and I feel like... Well, I was just going to say, like, I obviously need the money, but I will be going on co-op next semester. So in that sense, if I just save my money now, like if I don't necessarily need to be spending a lot of money, it's just good to have like the extra stuff. But I don't know. I'll see.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
I guess for our listeners, in case they don't know what co-op means, why don't you describe what it is?
Nadia Herrera-Set:
So I go to Northeastern and a big part of Northeastern is this co-op program where most students will do two in their four or five years in college. And it's basically like a six-month internship. And most people do it at a company or a hospital or whatever it has to do with your major, but it'll be in Boston, but you can't do it abroad or. in a different state, you just have to kind of go against, I think, I haven't, well, I haven't actually started my co-op class yet, but I think there's like a website, I don't know, some sort of thing that helps you put together a resume and your applications and apply to all these different places. But if you're going to another state or you want to go abroad, that's. Something you to do on your own and won't necessarily be through Northeastern But yeah, I haven't gone to my first co-op class yet Which will like teach
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
preparing.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
me about the process so I can probably talk about it at a later date
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Yeah, I got actually like chills as you listened or as you said it, I got not chills. I didn't get chills. I got like butterflies in my stomach as you were talking about it. I'm super excited
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
to do all of those things. I think because I know that throughout high school you didn't have a lot of work experience because you spent 20 hours a week doing gymnastics and
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
I'm excited that experience while you're kind of like a little bit sheltered as a student, you know, and
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
so that when you come out of school you're going to have like resume, things to put on your resume and hopefully those experiences
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right. Exactly.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
will help you figure out what you want to do after college. I'm really,
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Hmm
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
actually as we were talking about it, even more excited about it than I was like, you know, when you were starting school so that's really cool.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right. Yeah, it'll help me like either decide what I want to do or what I know I don't want to do, which is kind of helpful because I'm kind of in this stage of I really don't know. So we'll see.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Right. Okay, so as far as finding yourself as a Northeastern student,
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
I'm thinking that this semester is different for you compared to last semester because your first year of college was going directly to Greece instead of the Northeastern Boston campus. And so... going abroad as an 18-year-old is just a task in itself. And so that took up a lot of time. And also wanting to find community and a home for yourself in Greece was not really necessary because you knew you were only going to be there for three or four months. So
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right, right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
now that you're settling into Boston, what kinds of things are you doing? to find community at Boston.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Well, what I really think like the transition made, well, starting from Greece, like you said, it was hard. It wasn't really like we were gonna make ourselves like find a community in Greece because we were only there for three months. It was more like try to get comfortable and take advantage of like the opportunities that you have before like, it gets harder to do that. And then I feel like last semester, the spring semester of last year, I definitely, there were a lot of times in Greece where I didn't feel really comfortable or I felt like a combination of like homesick and just like being in a new country. So I think me and probably a lot of my friends too, like took last semester to kind of like feel settled and comfortable and like fine, like really spend time with the friends that we made in Greece. And we try. I personally tried to join clubs and stuff during that semester, but I feel like I tried for those few months just to get used to being a college student in the United States, in the school that I'm going to be at for the next four years or five years. So joining clubs and going to club meetings almost felt like... like an extra thing that I didn't want to do. So it would kind of take like, wouldn't be the biggest priority in the sense that I would like want to go to dinner with my friends at the dining hall or go to the gym in place of going to that club meeting. Cause it kind of felt like I'd be missing out on something if I was going to that club. But I think coming to campus this semester, definitely have a new perspective just because like I feel more comfortable on campus and my friends have like friend group and like that's kind of settled down and I am a lot more interested, me and my friends, are a lot more interested in getting really into all the clubs that we're interested in. And so before school started, school started on Wednesday, and today's Friday, so I've only had three days of school. But before that, on Tuesday, there was a club fair, and with like literally every single, I'm assuming almost every club on campus. So there was a lot of different tables to go to, there was a lot of people, it was very crowded. And although it was... I guess mostly for the freshmen. I took the time to go with my friends just to kind of like reintroduce myself to the clubs that are on campus and also to see like if there were clubs that I missed and Because we did have a club fair like that last semester
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
in January
Nadia Herrera-Set:
But it was indoors
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
when you moved into Boston in January.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
What'd you say?
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
When you moved into Boston in January, there was a club fair for people settling in
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Yeah,
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
January.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
there was a club fair. Yeah, it was just, it was indoors, it was really cold. So, and this one was outdoors, so, and we were spread out all through campus. So, if you can imagine, like all these different clubs crammed into like, I mean, a big building, but like, it was just really crowded and very overwhelming. So, it wasn't necessarily like... I guess you wouldn't have found all the clubs you wanted to go to because it was a very overwhelming experience. But this time it was overwhelming, but because it was hot and there was still a lot of people, but I was able to go to a whole different bunch of tables. It was just interesting to see the different groups of people on campus. Talked to a lot of people that are really passionate about their club and what they do, so that was really fun. And I think that I haven't gone to like a first club meeting yet, but it should be fun.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
I seem to remember in college, which was so many years ago, that sometimes when you would approach a club table, it was really clear that the people that were all there together telling you about their club were friends with each other. And if you're lucky enough, you go to a club table with one of your friends, so you feel kind of safe and confident. But you know
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right,
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
you're walking
Nadia Herrera-Set:
right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
into somebody else's home or somebody else's friend group. And you're almost saying, hi, tell me about your club. And can I be friends with you? And it's kind of this awkward moment where you know that they're checking out to see if you would be someone that they'd be excited to welcome into their club. And
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
you're doing the same thing, looking
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Hooray.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
how they interact with each other. Most like, however you judge a group of people to determine whether or not you would want to hang out with them more, you might be looking at how they talk, what kind of music's playing in the background, what kind of
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
like clothes they're wearing, right? And so like, do you look like them?
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
You know, you like whether, yeah, do you look like them by clothing or by just like, you know, your appearance?
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
And so it's not
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
just about like the club and what they do, but also about the people that are representing the club.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm. Yeah, what do I think
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
That's
Nadia Herrera-Set:
is...
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
what I remember. Is that a your experience too?
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Yeah, I think it's... I think it's definitely the same way now. I think like it's hard because you almost feel like you're going up to the table not to like judge them, but like... I mean making friends in general is hard because you... You're just analyzing every part of that person just to see if you would get... along with them and like not in like a bad way it's just you're gonna look at every part of like at this club where you're gonna look at every part of their table the way that their posters like design the way that they're like decided to approach you um the tone of their voice it's like it's a lot and i think a lot of people felt left the club fair feeling like one like there's a lot of new clubs for me to join but also a little bit of stress and a little bit of like that was really intimidating and I don't know if I'm enjoying but like I ended up talking to one like a pre-med fraternity and also sororities and already like approaching the table like hesitant, very hesitant. It was definitely like very intimidating talking to people that are obviously very passionate about their sorority or their frat. So I think, yeah, I feel like that experience is a universal experience on college
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Yeah,
Nadia Herrera-Set:
campuses.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
it's almost like you're looking at them going, oh my gosh, you're so passionate about this. Is that going to be me? Like, can I be this passionate about what you're
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
talking about? Do I want to be that person? Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
But I guess you got to understand that that's their job at the table is to give you the positive stuff
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
and show their enthusiasm. Because it would be weird to say, I love this club, but also here are some things that I don't like about it. You know, like you have no choice but to...
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
kind of be really enthusiastic about it when you're
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
working the table. So what is the timeline on that? Like, are you, now that there's been a club fair and like, how does that work? So there's a club fair, do you give them your email address? Do you follow them on Instagram? Like what
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Um...
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
process of like, now that you've seen the clubs, what happens next?
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Uh, yeah, so a lot
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Thanks for
Nadia Herrera-Set:
of
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
watching!
Nadia Herrera-Set:
them had interest forms where you put your email down and your name. Um, Instagram handles were there too. It's just like harder to, it's easier to just write your name down and have them contact you rather than like you find them. But they definitely put their social media out. Um, I'm not sure if any clubs have had their first meeting yet, but I know that- on Monday, this next Monday, I have like three different, maybe four different meetings that are also around the same time of, no, it's three meetings on Monday, one meeting on Tuesday, of different clubs, of their first meeting, which is, I guess, maybe not necessarily getting right into things, which is introducing the club, so. Next week is definitely going to be like the start of it all. But most of the clubs meet once a week. They all have like a faculty advisor and they meet like in some, not, um, not usually like a classroom classroom, but there are like, I guess makeshift classrooms in some of the, um, dorm buildings. Uh, so they'll have. they'll be there or actually I don't know, maybe in the library. But yeah, so after next week, I'll probably be at a few different club meetings a week, but we'll see.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
do they provide some other incentive to get you there? We're going to provide food or are some people incentivized because they're like,
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Um...
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
oh, I really like that faculty advisor. I want to join the club because I want to do research with that faculty advisor. I imagine there's the club and what the club does, and then there's the
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
people. Do you want to be friends with them? Then there's the faculty advisor.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right. The faculty advisor isn't always like, um,
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Hands
Nadia Herrera-Set:
what's
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
on.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
the word? Like promoted. Like they don't usually, I don't know if they, I, that's not like the first thing you look at, but later on that could be a reason why you keep going to the club, um, as far as like food, sometimes they give you food. Um, but. I think they're kind of betting on the fact that someone's gonna go if they really want to go. And so it's kind of like weeding people out, you know what I mean? And sometimes
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
you like write your name on an interest form but you don't really want to go. So if... I think based... Like, I don't know. It's like a... un... just like unsaid like kind of weeding out process
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
happens over the course of a few days, but yeah
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
All right, I'm excited to find out what you end up joining. And this whole conversation about finding your place in Northeastern is kind of like I'm doing my own community finding.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
I definitely have my community of friends and workmates and things like that. But recently, I've been thinking about the idea of throwing a retreat. And in the process of developing a retreat, one of my steps
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
is to participate in a retreat. And I find myself kind of like you at the club fair. Like I look at this website of the retreat and think to myself, wow, that they sound really into this exploration they're doing. I don't know if
Nadia Herrera-Set:
right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
I'm gonna really fit in, you know? Like we are going to talk about our feelings and our goals and we're going to, you know, whatever it is that the retreat offers, whatever vibe it is, like, you know, get in touch with Earth, with nature or find community amongst other women or whatever it is. I feel like slightly hesitant.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Like, do I want to be a part of that?
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right,
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
It's like a little
Nadia Herrera-Set:
right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
bit scary because you feel like you're about to like dive into something that you're not sure
Nadia Herrera-Set:
you're
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
you're
Nadia Herrera-Set:
unsure
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
going to like.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
about. Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
So there's that. And I'm also like, I was inspired by a podcast that I listened to a couple days ago. There's a podcast. Oh my gosh, I can't remember the name now. But I listened to it because Lucy. your younger sister, is her podcast
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
is, she's going to have an interview on there. And I listened
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Uh huh.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
to the first episode and it was about a person that was interviewed was a professor, Dr. Allison Tintiangco-Cubales. And the person that was interviewing her was a student that she had 20 years ago.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Hmm
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
one of the most significant impacts that the professor had on the student was to help that student feel like they were part of a greater community where her
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
interests and um and her just herself was welcome where she didn't necessarily feel that um prior or she was looking for that and so
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Think about how somebody 20 years later still remembers the impact somebody made on them. And that specific impact
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
was like belonging, right? And a feeling
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
of belonging. And so I'm hoping for you to find that. And I feel like you're lucky in that for the past three years, maybe students didn't get that as much because of
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right, right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
the COVID restrictions. was a little bit harder to
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Mm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
find opportunities to interact with students face to face.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Totally.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
So you could get tasks done.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
You could fulfill the goals of a club, but you didn't really get to be with other humans in person as much. So
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
I think it's really great that you get to do that.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
like clubs and retreats. I'm not really even sure how it all worked over COVID, but I, thinking about how I felt during that time, which is very different from being in college, but like I would, I feel like if I was a college student at that time, I would feel less inclined to go to club meetings and all this stuff, because one, meeting on Zoom isn't very personal. You're not really getting to know people. is easier to like multitask and not really pay attention. It's just not, it's not the same. So yeah, I wouldn't, I feel bad. I feel bad for the students that had to go through that. But I think that in the past, last year and this year, I think it's kind of making up for the, I guess those who were in college in 2020. So. Like I think they get to live what they didn't get to have before.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Mm-hmm. One last question, which is probably not the greatest place to end, so maybe it'll bring us to someplace else. I'm picturing you at this club fair, and you're so lucky that you were with your friends, like
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Right.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
friends that you made in Greece. And I'm wondering if there
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
were people walking around without a friend group looking kind of like a little bit lost and maybe uncomfortable and trying
Nadia Herrera-Set:
I
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
to
Nadia Herrera-Set:
mean...
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
find a place for themselves.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
There were definitely people like that there. I wasn't necessarily paying attention. You know, there was just a lot of people. There was always someone at a table on your front, like that you were looking at, like most tables were just full. So if you were by yourself, it's easy to like, it was easy to do it, like, I guess secretly. I don't know if that's the right word, but like. If you didn't want to really be noticed but still want to try to make friends It wasn't like very obvious that oh they're walking by themselves and they're trying to find friends because they haven't like quite made it and any yet and So I think I don't know. I guess maybe it was the way that it was outside there's I mean, there's a lot of kids like in Northeastern, so it's easy to blend into the crowd a little bit and also easy to introduce yourself to other people because go up to a table they're gonna be like oh hi my name is Balbala and you can be like next to someone that you don't know at that table, introduce yourself to them, that sort of thing but yeah there's definitely people that like try to find friends through that and I honestly probably feel like that's like the best way to do it is through the clubs and like the club meetings so.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
All right, well, have a good weekend. And I'm not sure if we're gonna talk about it next week, but at some point I'd love to hear about
Nadia Herrera-Set:
We'll
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
how it's
Nadia Herrera-Set:
see.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
going with the clubs. All right.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Yeah, I can give update and a co-op update once I finally go to my first class, but yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
All right. If you've made it this far, thank you for listening. I hope that was interesting, helpful. I guess it was a good topic for maybe incoming freshmen to listen to at some point.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Totally.
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
All right.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
Okay, bye
Alyssa Herrera-Set:
Bye.
Nadia Herrera-Set:
guys.
papaya talk is shifting.
Alyssa Herrera-Set: Hey Nadia. Nadia Herrera-Set: Hello. Alyssa Herrera-Set: So today is our first sort of episode. Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: I think maybe we can consider this episode one. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Intro episode. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yes. So what do we want to tell people out there about what we plan to do with this podcast? Nadia Herrera-Set: I think primarily we need to just talk about the changes that are going to be happening with Hippiatalk and introduce them into what they could look forward to next. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Well, what are you looking forward to? Nadia Herrera-Set: I'm definitely looking forward to learning more about women's health and just all the different topics that go along with it. I think we're going to be learning along with you guys, so it's going to be interesting. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah. Do you have certain topics that you think are going to be the most popular or the first ones that we're going to talk about? Nadia Herrera-Set: I think I'm gonna play it by ear. I'm not sure quite yet, but I feel like there's a lot of different topics that are important. It's hard to choose the number one. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah, I'm looking forward to talking about, I mean, as the mom, I'm concerned, I'm looking forward to talking about how you guys deal with drinking and drugs on campus, or maybe not on campus, but in your social lives. Nadia Herrera-Set: Mmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: How you deal with the advances of men or just... of anybody, you know, getting approached by potential partners and how you manage that, what dating is like for college age students. Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: What about you? Nadia Herrera-Set: I'm really just interested in everything. I think... I don't know. We'll see. Especially learning, hearing from experts and stuff. That will definitely be interesting. But we'll play it by ear. Alyssa Herrera-Set: All right. I feel like you have said on a couple of occasions that you are interested in hearing about skincare. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah, I think primarily just because I'm dealing with skin care issues, skin issues myself right now. But I think like as problems come up in my own life or within my friend group, those will definitely be things that we can talk about here on the podcast. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Do you think your friends will be open to you getting their ideas about what to talk about? Nadia Herrera-Set: Um, just by talking about it with a couple friends recently, they- people have been giving me ideas, not necessarily about their own personal lives, but things that they're interested in. Alyssa Herrera-Set: I think Nadia Herrera-Set: So Alyssa Herrera-Set: what Nadia Herrera-Set: yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: made me excited recently was when we told the family, Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: like my siblings, your uncles and aunts, what we're doing. They sounded so excited about it. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah, this Alyssa Herrera-Set: I'm sure Nadia Herrera-Set: I think... Alyssa Herrera-Set: they're going to want to hop in and give their input as we go along. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah, probably. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Do you think we should include your sister Lucy in here? Nadia Herrera-Set: Totally, I think she's interested in it as well, so Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah. Nadia Herrera-Set: when she has time in her busy schedule Alyssa Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. All right. Well, it is our last night together before you head to Boston. Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: I think it's cute that we did this on your last night before you leave. Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm Alyssa Herrera-Set: We're all set up, so we know you have the equipment that you need. Any final words before we sign off? Nadia Herrera-Set: Nope, I'm just really excited to go along this journey with everybody. I'm definitely going to be learning along the way about women's health and about doing a podcast, so it's going to be fun. Alyssa Herrera-Set: All right, all right. Thanks for listening everybody. Nadia Herrera-Set: Bye everybody.
