eating, food, and diet culture in college

Alyssa Herrera-Set: Hey, Nadia. Nadia Herrera-Set: Hello. Alyssa Herrera-Set: How's it going? Nadia Herrera-Set: I'm good, how are you? Alyssa Herrera-Set: I'm good. I was looking forward to our talk today, because it was actually really surprisingly nice to talk to you in this podcast forum last week. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah, I really enjoyed it too. Alyssa Herrera-Set: And I have a question for you, which is potentially, I mean, I think this conversation could become slightly sensitive or controversial. Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: And it's inspired by a lot of things that have conversations I've had in the past week. And it is food and nutrition and diet culture Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: amongst college women. And Nadia Herrera-Set: cave. Alyssa Herrera-Set: I think the most, I think there are a couple of things that Nadia Herrera-Set: loaded Alyssa Herrera-Set: came up. Nadia Herrera-Set: topic. Alyssa Herrera-Set: What did you say? Nadia Herrera-Set: I said loaded topic. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah, loaded topic. So there's a couple things that came up. One of them was this and I want to know your thoughts on this. So I was talking to this mom. And she was telling me that her daughter was going to college. And she told her daughter that if she stayed slim, they would continue to give her allowance. So Nadia Herrera-Set: Wow. Alyssa Herrera-Set: it wasn't just that. I'm making that sound worse than it was. Nadia Herrera-Set: I'm Alyssa Herrera-Set: It's still bad, but it was if you get Nadia Herrera-Set: sorry. Alyssa Herrera-Set: good grades and if you stay slim, but maybe the mom said, if you stay healthy and you get good grades. But loaded Nadia Herrera-Set: Uh... Alyssa Herrera-Set: in that question or Nadia Herrera-Set: right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: in between the lines is like, if you don't gain weight in college, then we will continue to Nadia Herrera-Set: pray. Alyssa Herrera-Set: give you money. Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Any Nadia Herrera-Set: I Alyssa Herrera-Set: thoughts on that? Nadia Herrera-Set: think that's really hard. I feel like in the beginning when you first start college, you're like, oh yeah, like, I don't think everyone talks about the freshman 15, but it doesn't really seem that like, seems pretty out of reach just because like that's, I don't know. For me personally, I did gymnastics like all throughout middle school and high school. So the thought of it was like something that I personally hadn't experienced before. And I it wouldn't be that much different having to get food for myself. I'm not that of a beginner cook or I know how to order food and stuff like that. So it didn't feel like something that would happen, but it's really, I think, I mean, a lot of people talk about it, but the college transition is pretty difficult. And I think, I mean, people cope in different ways, but I... like I was abroad and I feel like, and I know you heard a lot about me like complaining about food and stuff like that, but with like when you are eating a bunch of food that you might not like, you end up buying your own and that doesn't necessarily mean it's like the best food. I'm like going for like the junk food that I miss from home and it all kind of adds up. along with like stress and all of that, it's definitely, it happens without like you noticing. And so I think when I came back from my first semester of college, I was like, I definitely saw a difference in the way that I saw myself in the mirror, not necessarily that there was like that big of a like weight change or whatever, like it just, I felt different. And... And I think it was because of all of those things. But something that I feel like parents and everyone should take more into account is like, just everything that you did in high school is not gonna be the same in college. And so if you don't have like a parent like cooking for you anymore, like changes are gonna happen without the kid noticing. So I don't know, it's hard to like tell your kid that you have to stay slim because it's kind of. almost out of their control. But now that I'm a second year, I feel like I've gotten a better hang of it, not to say that I'm the best at it, but I've definitely tried to have healthier foods around and when you're stressed, you just wanna snack and if you are aware of it, it's... easier to control it. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Nadia Herrera-Set: But I don't know, Alyssa Herrera-Set: And there Nadia Herrera-Set: it's Alyssa Herrera-Set: was a Nadia Herrera-Set: like, Alyssa Herrera-Set: lot there. Nadia Herrera-Set: it's really hard. Alyssa Herrera-Set: There was like, yeah, there's a lot. Like, many people do sports in high school. Not many, but there are there are Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: people that do sports in high school that don't do sports in college. So if you go from like in your Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: situation, like 20 to 25 hours of doing a sport to you're not doing gymnastics Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: in college anymore. And then it's like, At most, you're going Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: to get an hour a day. You're never going to force yourself to go to the gym Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: for four hours on your own in Nadia Herrera-Set: right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: a day. So there's that. There's also you're just growing. You're continuing to develop Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: and become a woman. So that's inevitable that you are going to grow into your woman adult Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: body. And then there's Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah, Alyssa Herrera-Set: the other. Nadia Herrera-Set: totally. Alyssa Herrera-Set: if you have coping mechanisms like eating for comfort that adds to it. I was thinking like Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: what are the, I mean I guess this varies Nadia Herrera-Set: Drinking Alyssa Herrera-Set: from person Nadia Herrera-Set: also, Alyssa Herrera-Set: to person. Nadia Herrera-Set: I think. like drinking, like Alyssa Herrera-Set: Alright. Nadia Herrera-Set: if I've heard like many stories of like, I don't not necessarily in the best form, but like people just noticing like after someone has been in college for a certain amount of time, like they're always out at parties and like, you can just tell that they look different than they did in high school, which is like, I don't know, especially with social media, those differences, like people really take them into account, which is not a good thing, but it just like, that's just the way life is. You're gonna like not look the same as you did in high school. But I think that like eating and all that kind of all the like college stuff. Your first year definitely play a big role. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Right, drinking alcohol, maybe evening munchies. Nadia Herrera-Set: Maybe. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah, so there's that. OK, what was I going to say? Oh, what are the, what do you think? how much does it play a role that some people were under so much control and restriction under their parents and then they go to college and then they just go crazy can they because they now have the choice to eat whatever they want and Before their parents used to Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: control it and now they're gonna either rebel or they don't know how to make decisions for themselves Because their parents always made the decision for them Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. I think the freedom is in all ways in college is like something that you definitely have to like teach yourself how to control it. But yeah, I could definitely see how like being you have a certain amount of money that you could spend whatever from a job, from an allowance, and now no one's telling you what you can and can't buy with it. So it's easy to be like, let's just spend all on this food that I was never able to eat when I was at home. Yeah, that's definitely hard. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Okay, so what advice do you have for me and for the other moms Nadia Herrera-Set: Uh... Alyssa Herrera-Set: out there? You and I had a really interesting conversation that like really caused me to pause. And it was last year. You, Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: as a mom who's always been a part of your life, I continue to wanna be a part of your life, right? So I'd ask you questions, normal questions. Sometimes it's like, how's school? Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: How's your friends? Are you sleeping well? blah, blah. So at Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: one point, our conversation became, what are you doing for breakfast? Because you were living at the dorms, and you're like, I had apples. And I said, oh, did you get the apples from Trader Joe's, or did you get it from the cafeteria? I don't remember what the answer was. Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: And then I might have said, did you pair it with some protein? I'm not sure if I said that. to pair your Nadia Herrera-Set: Probably. Alyssa Herrera-Set: carbs with fiber and protein. I don't know. I'm not sure if I went there. And then I said, and then you were talking about how you were going to have Popeyes for lunch. And I was like, Nadia Herrera-Set: Hehehe Alyssa Herrera-Set: I said something like, is that really the healthiest choice? You know, because I know I'm paying for your food Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: at the dorms. and you're choosing not to go to the cafeteria where there's like some steamed vegetables and salad and, you know, grilled chicken or something, you Nadia Herrera-Set: Hehehe Alyssa Herrera-Set: chose to get a Popeyes chicken sandwich or whatever you chose to get. And I said, is that really the healthiest choice? And your response, like super quick, was like, I don't need to be telling you all the things that I'm eating. And I was like, oh, like I felt all of a sudden like I went too far. And Nadia Herrera-Set: Wow. Alyssa Herrera-Set: like, on Nadia Herrera-Set: I Alyssa Herrera-Set: the Nadia Herrera-Set: didn't, Alyssa Herrera-Set: one hand, Nadia Herrera-Set: I don't Alyssa Herrera-Set: I- Nadia Herrera-Set: remember saying that. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Oh my god, I specifically remember that because I've always been very, I feel like I've been around a lot of eating disorders in my life, you know, like my friends and because I work with Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: gymnasts and dancers, like I've been around a lot of eating disorders. So like, there's Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: this weird balance, like I want to encourage you to eat healthy, but I don't want to like cause some kind of weird religious conflict to food. And so when you said, I don't tell you all the things that I Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: eat, I was like, Oh God, I'm being one of those weird parents Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah Alyssa Herrera-Set: that drive their child towards weird relationships with food. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: And so I stopped Nadia Herrera-Set: I mean... Alyssa Herrera-Set: and actually part of that on a side note was contributed to me getting a dog so that I could focus my attention on feeding another animal. Nadia Herrera-Set: That's really funny. I like that had that conversation, probably a text conversation too had that much of an impact. But I don't know. I think it's definitely obviously I don't always I'm not always like I want I don't want you always asking questions about it. But in Greece, when I was studying abroad, I did go to you when I was like, I know I'm eating all these bad things that I don't know. how to like, and I'm being served all these things that I know aren't that healthy and I'm not really sure what they are. And like I didn't, I wasn't sure how to go about that. I don't know, you have to find a balance. I feel like it really depends on the person. And I've also had to always had a really weird relationship with food, because I love, I love food, but being an athlete for a long time and then, I don't know, like having to like. Then when I'm in college and I'm managing my own health with my food, I don't know, it's definitely a struggle. So it helps when someone's like, I guess calling you out, but it really depends on the person. I guess that maybe I was feeling really, maybe you got me on a wrong day, Alyssa Herrera-Set: Thanks Nadia Herrera-Set: on Alyssa Herrera-Set: for Nadia Herrera-Set: a Alyssa Herrera-Set: watching! Nadia Herrera-Set: bad day. Ha ha ha. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Well, it made an impression and resulted in our dog. So, yeah. Nadia Herrera-Set: So in the end it was good. Alyssa Herrera-Set: It's funny Nadia Herrera-Set: Hehehe Alyssa Herrera-Set: that you don't remember because I've told the other parents this story multiple times about that cow when you put me in Nadia Herrera-Set: Hey Alyssa Herrera-Set: check, but you don't remember. So going back to that original parent Nadia Herrera-Set: That's Alyssa Herrera-Set: that I Nadia Herrera-Set: funny. Alyssa Herrera-Set: was talking about, she is a her daughter to send her pictures of her food every day. like what she's eating. Nadia Herrera-Set: Like, is she in the dorm? Oh, cause she's a first, she's a freshman. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah, she's a freshman. Nadia Herrera-Set: So she's Alyssa Herrera-Set: So, Nadia Herrera-Set: only eating at the dorm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: and I don't know, I think that I think that's all that could potentially all contribute to some potentially unhealthy relationship with food and unhealthy relationship between Nadia Herrera-Set: right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: parent and child. But I here's where Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: you like draw the line again. So I you the other thing that happened this week was you got really excited because I sent you an air fryer. Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Because I wanted Nadia Herrera-Set: I love it. Alyssa Herrera-Set: to encourage you to eat Nadia Herrera-Set: Heh. Alyssa Herrera-Set: vegetables. Nadia Herrera-Set: Oh, and I sent you a picture of it. Alyssa Herrera-Set: You sent me a picture of it. The text that you sent me was so cute. You're like, guys, she's here. It's like a picture of your air fryer, which it made me happy to make you happy. Nadia Herrera-Set: I was really excited. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah. But- Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: I had said to you, I will get you an air fryer if you send me a picture every time you're eating air fried Nadia Herrera-Set: Oh, Alyssa Herrera-Set: broccoli, Nadia Herrera-Set: mm-hmm. Vegetables. Alyssa Herrera-Set: vegetables. Nadia Herrera-Set: Well, okay, I feel like there's a difference between that and the story that you were saying before. Because when I sent you the pictures, because, well, I sent you a picture of my vegetables the other day and they didn't look good and I thought it was funny, so like I wanted to send it, but also to be like, look, I did it. I feel like there's a difference between me doing it on my own terms versus someone asking me to do it. I feel like if you were in that mom's position, you asked me to send a picture of my food every day, I'd like two things. One, I would send you the picture of the food and like... like perfect it basically. Like I wanna make sure that you're looking at something that you want me to be eating. And so then I'm going around the dining hall and I'm like, I want that. But if I send a picture of that, I'm gonna get in trouble. Or like, not that I'm gonna get in trouble, but like she's gonna say something. And two, after Alyssa Herrera-Set: So is Nadia Herrera-Set: doing Alyssa Herrera-Set: it helpful? Nadia Herrera-Set: that, Alyssa Herrera-Set: Is Nadia Herrera-Set: I Alyssa Herrera-Set: that Nadia Herrera-Set: feel Alyssa Herrera-Set: a good Nadia Herrera-Set: like it's Alyssa Herrera-Set: thing? Nadia Herrera-Set: a type of thing of like, it is a good thing, but then also it's like, You I well, I don't know. I'm not an expert, but I always tell myself like everything in moderation. So I'm telling myself I can never, ever, ever eat pizza ever again. Like, that's not necessarily. Like it, that's not necessarily something that has to happen. It's you don't want it every day, but it's not something you can never have. But I think another thing that. What might happen is... like her eating or me in this situation eating food, but not sending a picture of it, you know, like, Alyssa Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm, like hiding. Nadia Herrera-Set: and then whatever food I spend on my own money or outside or whatever, even still in the dining hall is gonna be an act of like, I'm just gonna rebel against whatever healthy food I've been being told to eat every day. I don't know, but maybe she looks. I don't know, maybe her daughter likes it like that. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Right. It's like this bounce, like, on the one hand, it's cute because you have like this supportive relationship and you're staying in contact. Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: On the other hand, it's like over surveilling, you know, like, is that a word? Surveilling? Like, too Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah, Alyssa Herrera-Set: much Nadia Herrera-Set: yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: helicopter parenting, you know? I feel like we have such Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: an opportunity to get so much in your business. Like we can see pictures of everything on Instagram. We can follow you on Find My or Life360 or wherever I'm following you on. We Nadia Herrera-Set: Ah... Alyssa Herrera-Set: get messages when you make purchases. So I know exactly where Nadia Herrera-Set: Hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: you're purchasing things. Like when I asked you if you bought some healthy snacks at the liquor store. And then... Nadia Herrera-Set: She's exposing me. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Or you did though, right? You bought nuts and, um, like some dried fruit at the liquor store? Nadia Herrera-Set: Yep. Yes. Alyssa Herrera-Set: And we see everything. It's a little bit much, you know, like, Nadia Herrera-Set: Mmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: or maybe that's just the Nadia Herrera-Set: Right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: way life is. But it seems like a bit much. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah, it is a lot. I feel, I don't know. A lot of things, but for me, a lot of these things that you just said happen without like my, like that's just gonna, like I can't do anything about it cause that's on your end. I can't Alyssa Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Nadia Herrera-Set: like take my phone off of your find my iPhone and I can't like stop you from getting text messages when I buy things. And I mean, I don't know. Those things are good, but I can't control it. I feel like, but maybe that's just like your style of parenting, but I'm like fine with it because there's no way, I feel like there's no way I can like change that. And it's Alyssa Herrera-Set: Yeah. Nadia Herrera-Set: not like I'm doing anything wrong. So Alyssa Herrera-Set: Well, you don't know any Nadia Herrera-Set: I don't Alyssa Herrera-Set: different. Nadia Herrera-Set: really, Alyssa Herrera-Set: You don't know Nadia Herrera-Set: it's Alyssa Herrera-Set: what Nadia Herrera-Set: not Alyssa Herrera-Set: it was Nadia Herrera-Set: like, Alyssa Herrera-Set: like Nadia Herrera-Set: I Alyssa Herrera-Set: to Nadia Herrera-Set: don't Alyssa Herrera-Set: be, Nadia Herrera-Set: really have anything to hide. Alyssa Herrera-Set: right? You don't know what it's like to be like, because Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: when I was in my 20s, my parents had no idea where I was or what I was doing. And so Nadia Herrera-Set: Right, Alyssa Herrera-Set: your generation Nadia Herrera-Set: right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: has, this is all you know is your parents being able Nadia Herrera-Set: But Alyssa Herrera-Set: to see Nadia Herrera-Set: then, Alyssa Herrera-Set: wherever you are. Nadia Herrera-Set: yeah, and you grew up like that with your parents not knowing where you were. It's just like. uh, something that changed over the Alyssa Herrera-Set: Thank Nadia Herrera-Set: years, Alyssa Herrera-Set: you. Nadia Herrera-Set: but probably for the better. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Maybe. OK, one last topic, which we only have a couple of minutes, but so this might have to go on to another episode. Do you Nadia Herrera-Set: Okay. Alyssa Herrera-Set: see people, friends, with disordered eating habits or disordered eating that you're concerned about? And what do you do about that? Nadia Herrera-Set: Well, recently, no. I think it's just not necessarily disordered eating, but ways of thinking. Like you want to, just, I don't know. It's hard to think about what's healthy for you when you're like getting your food from the dining hall. And now for us as second years, like starting to make your own food. It's... hard to make that decision if we don't really have all the information about like the nutrition and like what's actually really bad for you and what's really good for you. I don't know. I don't it's not like anyone that I see not eating or eating not like not enough of what they should be. It's more like avoiding certain foods or I don't know. Oh, like I can't get up and get seconds at the dining hall because it's gonna, like everyone's gonna judge me. I've Alyssa Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Nadia Herrera-Set: personally felt that. I don't know, it's like maybe that's an internal thing. I still go up and I get more food, but it's Alyssa Herrera-Set: Thank Nadia Herrera-Set: like Alyssa Herrera-Set: you. Nadia Herrera-Set: people are gonna see me getting more food and be like, why, like she already had food. Why is she still hung? Like it's like a whole bunch of things, but maybe that's because like I'm surrounded by girls. guys Alyssa Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Nadia Herrera-Set: obviously think differently, they're gonna eat whatever they want and get out. Like I've seen guys with like piles of food and they don't they don't care. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Thanks for watching! Nadia Herrera-Set: But I don't know, it's hard as I feel like it's always gonna be hard but Alyssa Herrera-Set: I mean, I remember Nadia Herrera-Set: especially Alyssa Herrera-Set: actually Nadia Herrera-Set: in the dining Alyssa Herrera-Set: being Nadia Herrera-Set: hall. Alyssa Herrera-Set: in PT school. And one of the first lunches that I had in PT school, we all like ate inside our classroom. And Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: there's 30 people in my class, the majority of them were eating healthy foods, like cut up bell peppers and like salads. And I straight had a burger Nadia Herrera-Set: Mm-hmm. Alyssa Herrera-Set: in like the styrofoam box thing. And I was like, all of a sudden feeling really self-conscious because you know, I am a- Nadia Herrera-Set: Hehehehe... Alyssa Herrera-Set: future healthcare professional and amongst Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. Alyssa Herrera-Set: the specific healthcare professionals that care about like, you know, nutrition and fitness, and they're all eating healthy foods and I was eating Nadia Herrera-Set: Right, Alyssa Herrera-Set: a burger and Nadia Herrera-Set: right. Alyssa Herrera-Set: fries, I definitely like felt all of a sudden self conscious. So it doesn't end, I guess. Nadia Herrera-Set: Yeah. They Alyssa Herrera-Set: Um Nadia Herrera-Set: just want to put up a front then. Nobody really likes bell peppers. Alyssa Herrera-Set: I've grown to like bell peppers and fresh ones, not cooked ones in my later years. Nadia Herrera-Set: I can't understand it, but it's okay. Alyssa Herrera-Set: Okay, well, nice talking to you. Until next week. Nadia Herrera-Set: Nice talking to you too. Bye.