The Stress of Holiday Reunions
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Hi Nadia.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Hi.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Um, I feel weird having you back at Northeastern.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, a week at home was a luxury. Uh, it's like a spa break.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Was it? So you're in your sophomore year of college now and you had a week off for Thanksgiving break and it felt like a spa luxury to come home?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, in the sense that like, I have a lot more responsibilities here, so I just, not that I didn't have them there, I just chose to forget about them. Um, I mean, I have a lot more, yeah, a lot more responsibilities here regarding like school and because I was far, far away, it felt like I could just like.
you know, take, like, relax a little bit more. Um... But.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
It's not because you don't have to do things as much like clean dishes and clean your house and stuff, your apartment.
Nadia Herrera-Set
No, I don't know. I guess a little bit because like you guys are the ones like running the house, I guess, instead of me. But maybe in the sense of like everyone else's life, it's like a vacation for me but just me. Like everyone else's lives are like still going. So when everyone else gets has things to do, I don't. Which like...
in a weird sense feels like a vacation for me because I don't have to do things, but it's also weird to be young.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I'm going to go to bed.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I'm wearing your Northeastern sweatshirt because I missed you today. But today, our topic is the stress of like reunions, holiday reunions. I think that's something that I hear.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
people talk about and see people post about online about how it feels sometimes, like the holidays are supposed to be this joyful celebration, reunion with family and friends that love you. And then sometimes it doesn't quite feel that way. And that's like makes things even worse. So how was your, what are your thoughts on that? How was your return home?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, this time I think I've gotten used to returning home, but every time I do, it just feels a little bit weird. Um, like I said before, like everyone, because everyone's, it's not like everyone's life stopped when I moved to Boston. So it's like, I don't feel as connected to it in the, like, I still feel connected to family, but not necessarily home because I'm not there very much.
when I am I'm not there for very long. And then like same with like friends like I'm still in touch with my friends, but you know, we all have like other lives at school and outside of the Bay Area now so it's just like a lot of catching up and
Nadia Herrera-Set
I don't know. It's weird every time I go back, but I feel like a lot of people feel the same way. I mean, I've changed a lot since I've been to Northeastern, or I feel like I have. So it's just like also looking at home in a new perspective is a little bit strange.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
You know, we haven't gotten to talk about how, well, you say you've grown a lot since you've been in Boston. And we haven't gotten to talk about how a lot of people came up to me on the side after seeing you this time, saying that it seems like you're really thriving in Boston, or that you feel you seem happier, or you seem like,
more, I don't know, at ease with yourself or something. Can you explain what that might be about? Like, why is you like, why are people responding to your presence as if there's like a palpable change in your comfort with yourself this time compared to previously?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, I don't know. I maybe like, I feel like I came to call like colleges, as people say, like a time to, you know, become not become necessarily become a new version of yourself but push yourself out of like your comfort zone.
And at home, I had like a routine and that routine like never really changed throughout the entirety of my time like in middle school and high school and all that stuff. So I didn't really have like opportunities to like try new things or I don't know meet other people but um
I do feel like I've in some sense like gained more confidence in myself and maybe that's also like just becoming an adult but not that I feel like an adult at all but like I don't know I feel like I sometimes also put on a persona of like trying to act more mature when I'm home too so I feel like well like
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Really? I'm just kidding.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I don't know, I feel like...
maybe looking at it from looking at home from a bird's it's like looking at home from a bird's eye view like i'm not attached to anything except for a family and like my high school friends anymore so everything else is kind of like it's like they don't i don't know they don't really mean that much yeah
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Maybe the things that were that seemed like such a big deal when you were younger because you were like that was all that you had All of a sudden doesn't seem like a big deal anymore. And then it makes you feel at ease with Everything else you come across. It seems like it's a big deal. Like maybe everything isn't really that big of a deal
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right. Right, and also like, I think I've gotten better at like looking at the bigger picture and just, I don't know, new perspectives. I don't know, but that's kinda, I feel like that's interesting to hear.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So what.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, well, I hope that makes you feel happy to hear that you're giving people that impression. So what feels like home? Like when you stepped into your home in Redwood Shores and you're like, ah, home, or when you went back to your apartment in Boston and you're like, home, like which one felt like home?
Nadia Herrera-Set
No, yeah, it does. I just... yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Honestly like honestly both but this is like that's like the first time that has happened
at Northeastern. Not that I didn't feel at home in my other like places that I was living, but I wasn't going to be living there for very long because it was like one semester or like the half semester I did over the summer. So I kind of looked at it as like I'm going to be leaving soon anyways. Like I didn't really get as settled. Whereas I feel like in this apartment, because I knew I was going to be staying here the whole year, I've like made it feel more like home from like the beginning.
when I came back it didn't feel weird and it felt like relaxing and the same thing happens at home too. My room kind of just stays the same so I it feels anytime I step in there it feels like nothing has changed
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So that's all good stuff. What about the hard stuff? A lot of people have a hard time. They dread going to the family party on the holiday, or they dread going to a reunion of friends from high school or elementary school. Did you have any of that?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, I didn't have any of that, but I understand, like, there's a lot of anxiety just towards, like, oh, is it going to be awkward? Like, um, yeah, the awkwardness of it all is kind of hard, but, and also, like, not everyone really enjoys, like, that small talk, catching up type of thing. Um.
Especially when it feels like you have like less in common. This is like specifically like friends like if you have less in common with them Then you did before it's I feel like that's kind of hard and Like with family things I Don't know I didn't I didn't feel like I didn't drag going to family things. I think being
Um, away from home for a while, like makes me just like appreciate it more when I get the opportunity to go to like those get-togethers, but Yeah, I think the awkwardness and anxiety that has that like Is connected to it is hard
Alyssa Herrera-Set
It was, I just remember now that you were kind of mentally preparing yourself to see a bunch of your extended family and you were joking about recording your answers because you were anticipating that they were going to ask you the same thing. Like what is it that everybody asks you?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Hmm...
Nadia Herrera-Set
Well, I mean, it's not necessarily like because it's like a family thing. Like it's just with everyone. Everyone's everyone asks the same thing because I'm away at college. It's always like, how's college and all that type of thing, which is not. It's not like weird, but I, oh, I. No, I always say that.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
What did you repeat?
Alyssa Herrera-Set
So what's your canned answer? Or did you say something different every time?
Nadia Herrera-Set
I mean, even when I wasn't, even after like my semester in Greece, when I like still wasn't sure how, I hadn't like mentally processed the whole thing yet, I still answered with like, oh, I'm having a lot of fun. Um, I really like it and all that kind of thing. But I am actually having a lot of fun now and I do really like it. So it's less of a half lie, but um, uh, yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Hahaha
I guess you know people don't want to hear like, um, I am having a really hard time. It was really hard for me to adjust. I was kind of lonely and missing home. Like, you just don't really feel like saying that.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it depended on who I was with. And also, like, I feel like it gets, it all, that's another part of the time where it kind of could get awkward if, like, they, you know, they ask a question or you say something that's, like, not what they expected you to say. And then there's, like, more questions. So kind of, like...
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
making it the easiest conversation possible, but that doesn't like, I don't know. I didn't do that with everybody.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, I guess we're lucky that family reunions aren't super dramatic or there's not a lot of fighting. There's not any fighting. We did have a slightly awkward situation though. I mean, maybe more awkward for me and it wasn't that bad. But my mom and my dad and my stepmom were all at
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Oh yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Although my mom and stepmom get along. Were they talking to each other? I don't know. My mom and my dad don't talk to each other at all. Did you, did you feel, was that palpable? Like, did you see that happening?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, I, I don't know. I don't think I like registered it. I mean, I kind of used like they don't, I know they don't like converse. So I wasn't like expecting them to like sit together, like have a conversation. Um, but yeah, I mean, I guess it's more, it's more of a thing for you because you, you're going to look out for it and you're going to notice it more.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I mean, I am also used to it. What sometimes is weird for me is if I think about how weird it is that my parents don't talk to each other. Like, if you just think about me and your dad not talking to each other on a holiday, it's kind of sucky. But yeah. But we've just gotten used to it at this point. And I'm glad that it didn't result in anything like nobody was mad.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
I mean...
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, yeah and also like they did it it's not like they couldn't be in the same place so I feel like I don't know our family is getting bigger but it's not that big our house is like not that big so they did have to be in like close proximity so no fighting yeah
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, they were like, I guess, in the next room from each other. Did they sit at the same table for lunch for dinner?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Uh, no. I don't think so. I- I don't... I don't think so. Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, but we got all of them to take a picture together. And it took a little bit of dragging some members out because they were resistant to it. And I don't know if that's because they didn't want to be in a picture together. I'm not sure. But that was really important for me. We never get the entire family, all of my siblings, my mom and my dad, in one picture. That's so.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
ever.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
so rare for me and it was like really important for me. So I'm glad that we were able to make it happen.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, um, yeah, that never happens. Well, I guess not everyone was there, but we, we edited him in.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-mm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, one person, not in the picture, but we edited them in.
Nadia Herrera-Set
and to the back.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah. Well, now you're going to be in school for another two weeks, and then you're going to come right back home. Like, are you feeling that's too soon?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah. Um, not... I don't know. I... The next two weeks are gonna be difficult because it's finals and everything, so it's not really like the most fun. Um... But...
I also don't know what I need to do at home. So like, I don't really, I don't know. It's, I've been, I was talking to some of my friends today that like really just like, I don't know, they don't wanna, going home now is like not fun for them anymore, they don't wanna go back. And it like coming back to Boston feels like super relaxing and like, oh, finally I'm, yeah, from Northeastern.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Your friends from North Eastern were saying that they didn't want to go home.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, no, like now they're back here, but like they're glad that they're back. Yeah, I don't know. I feel both. I feel both. I'm like, I'm glad that I'm back, but I also like didn't want to come back because I knew um I have finals and it's like not fun at all.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Um, are some of your friends like having a hard time with, um, or are you having a hard time with defining what is appropriate behavior when you're at home? Like when to come home? Like are some people like annoyed because their parents are super strict when they're at home and they can do whatever they want when they're at school, that type of thing?
Nadia Herrera-Set
Um, I mean I haven't like really talked about that much. I feel like maybe that was more of a thing like last year because it's like both for me like for us and for our parents like it's hard to know like where the boundaries are when you're back home again but I don't know.
You kind of like you go home for like family and you're like close friends from high school anyways so it's not necessarily like I in my head I know whenever I'm doing like here in Boston is not really going to be happening in um in at home so I like I've already set the difference before I get before I step before I step in the Bay Area.
Hehehe
Alyssa Herrera-Set
I actually didn't experience that. I felt like I was going out with my friends in college, at like on campus and around campus. And then when we come home for the holidays, then I would like go out with my high school friends and like.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, I mean, I did over the summer. I don't know. It's like, it's different. It's like, it's weird. And I also don't know the Bay Area like that. So like the, like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't see the, yeah, like it's, I don't look at it the same way. So it's...
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
where to go out.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Oh, that's true. And you don't really have a lot of good friends that are going to college here. Your friends...
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, so everyone is like, we're all in different parts. We're actually none of us are, aren't like, most of us are not home, so it's at all, so it's very, none of us are used to it. And I don't know.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Yeah, and my friends all went to school nearby.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, so it's like, I guess I can hear it from like the great men. I can ask other people that do go to school close, but I know it feels weird. But I guess, I don't know, most of my friends here at Northeastern live, actually all my friends at Northeastern are from the East Coast. So what, however, like you felt in college, just a little bit, how they feel. Cause you know, they know.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Like how to like home and school is very close, but for me, it's very different.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Mm-hmm, and then your friends too like all of the friends that you would go out with back at home None of them are going to school nearby. So then none of you guys know what to do around here
Nadia Herrera-Set
Right, right. Yeah, so it's interesting.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
All right, so what's what are you gearing up for? You have two weeks of finals.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Well, not... Well, I guess, yeah, kind of two weeks of finals. Um, yeah. But actual finals week is like, like the December 11th, December 16th, like that week. But my first final's on the 6th, and I really need to start studying, but I really, really don't want to.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Well, you're almost there. I mean, that's the nice thing about going to school, like things end and then start over again. Like in regular adult life, it just keeps going.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah. But then also like, oh yeah. But next semester I'll be on co-op too, so it's like...
that is I guess I'll have a break from school for a long time. It's just gonna be really interesting.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
Oh, yeah. That'll be fun. I was just thinking about how you're going to be probably really tired. It's going to be really weird, I think, for you to have to go to work from eight to five or whatever, just like 40 hours of being like on is different than like two hours of class and then a break and then two hours of class and then a break.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah, it is. Yeah, but I feel like with like classes too, I'm doing homework for a long time. So like that whole time when I'm off of work is when I would be doing my homework anyways. So like that's gonna be different and I'm gonna I feel like Yeah, we'll see what happens. Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
You're excited not to have homework? All right. It was nice talking to you. I feel I don't know why I feel sad that you're gone, even though I just saw you yesterday, and then you're coming back in two weeks. But I think it's because that same reason that everybody feels like.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Nice talking to you too.
Nadia Herrera-Set
and I'll be back. Yeah.
Alyssa Herrera-Set
you know, oh, you're doing really, she's doing really well, and she's thriving, she's happy. It's like a good thing, right? But then it makes me feel like even more, like you have a whole life away from here. That's probably it. Yeah. All right. Bye.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah.
Nadia Herrera-Set
Yeah. Well. Bye.
